Kai's Komic Kaptions 16

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAA....... Sh*t! I forgot what I was suppose to say!" - theFrey

"Is this SciFi tattoo *really* necessary? " - PeridotEyes"

"Beeee..elzebub has a devil set aside for me...for MEEEEEE!!!!" MM's audition for a 'new' version of Bohemian Rhapsody.." - mayaxiong 

"Don't worry, Kai. That's how I look when I wake up, too!" - LiannaX

"And another scifi actor goes to heaven." - emma_peel

"Paul!!! PAUL!!! Damnit!! Where the hell is my f...ng costume?!!!!" - DJ KGB

"Ahhhh! The tub is too hot." - Lilitth18

"Actor Kai learns that there won't be an S5." - Hypatia

"Yes, I'm the best Kabuki actor in the free world!" - bookwurm

"My kingdom for a chastity belt!" - Paine

"Dammit! The bun's too tight *again*!" - StormBorn

"Yes, I can swallow a tomato whole--what's it to you? (Damn hecklers!)" - StormBorn

"Yes, I *know* Henry V th wasn't a samurai! It's *art*, you moron!" - StormBorn

"Waaait a minute...are you guys making fun of me in this ep? You are making fun of me! That's it--I'm not coming back next season!  Why are you giggling? Huh? Oh, shit!" - StormBorn

"MM shouts at Lexx crew: I told YOU we shouldn't let Downey do the make-up this week, give him a chance you said, it will help his self-esteem you said, do I *LOOK* like a Brunnen-G Warrior??????!!!" - NB1

"Oh yeah? Well so's your old man!  Thinking: *&$#)$ hecklers!" - Sarcasmagoria

"Kai at the Rocky Horror show singing: Don't dream it, just be it!" -bookwurm

"Where in the hell did I put my chopsticks??!!??" - angelmay

"Actor Kai decides to sue the lucky girl who gets to attach his codpiece... (she got a little carried away...)" - Griever

"AHA! No one ever expects the Spanish Inquisition!" - QueenMagrat

"TAXI!" - Griever


"Noooooooo! Not my last bottle of Becks!" - theFrey

"Actor Kai: 'But..but you promised..    Xev: Okay, okay...You're the greatest actor that ever lived, Sir Laurence Olivier was a hack compared to you..   Actor Kai: Well...that's better.. but more feeling!..." - mayaxiong

"Xev: Kai, you've got to stop holding out on me! Gimme that Hershey's chocolate!" - LiannaX

"When my play is over, *maybe* I'll staple your foot..." - PeridotEyes

"Oh ow ow oh, I wish I had a codpiece. This army surplus wool underwear really chafes!" - Aurora

"No!! Not my ciggies HELP! Paul!" - Domitrix

"Oh, please! Show me one schoolkid who hasn't stapled themselves for fun!" - StormBorn

"I dunno, lady--do you think it's really possible for you to give me a tattoo with a staple gun?" - StormBorn

"Actor Kai moans in pain as he exclaims: I wanted you to staple the Ball of my foot, not the foot of my _ _ _ _!!!!!!" - NB1"

"Xev the Catholic League has condemned my act as obscene, it'll be a while for the notoriety to wear off and people to stop coming out of curiosity" - Hypatia

"Pwease, pwease, Xev! Can't I have it? Whhhyyy can't I have it?  WWAAAHHHH!" - angelmay

"NO!!!!! not my last bottle of mousse! you wouldn't like it anyway...I need it more than you... Xev I'll sleep with you! Just don't take the mousse!" - Griever

"Kai finally gets nailed." - Azzy23

"Actor Kai: I love you, Xev.   Xev: No, Kai, you're NOT getting my last Bud Lite." "Granamyr


"Some part of Actor Kai is puzzled, why does he feel his hair should look better than hers?" - theFrey

"Xev: I've searched for you all over the universe...and...   Actor Kai thinking:  I wonder who does her makeup, maybe I can get them to brush up my theater look...  Hmm....  'Oh What? What was that?...Uh yeah, whatever.'"  - mayaxiong

"And the sexual position that you want me to try is called the Praying Mantis?" - BlackDove 

"Actor Kai thinking: She's just come in off the street, claiming that she's seen and known me for years. Saying something about me being dead for a long time. And. Wants. Sex. NOW. Not another one! This was the reason I moved out of Canada..." - LiannaX

"Slowly Xev comes to the realization that she'll have to rape him. Why is it so tough to get laid on Earth?" - PeridotEyes

"That lizard skin skirt would make a great kilt for scene 3. I wonder how hard it would be to get her out of it?" - Aurora

"Of course you want me, but sniveling isn't going to help you get me." - StormBorn

"Actor Kai thinking: She's not a bad-looking groupie...but I'm still prettier." - StormBorn

"Actor Kai does his best *Elvis* impersonation, 'Thank you, Xev, Thank you very much!!!'" - NB1

"Actor Kai is a little freaked out by Xev's *special needs.* He thinks: I'll wear the white make-up and *maybe* the boots, but *why* does she want me laying real still in an icebox?!" - Aurora

"GGGRRRRRRR! I do NOT have body odor!!" - angelmay"

Actor Kai: Go ahead punk, make my day..." - Griever

"Xev: Oh my god is that...?  ActorKai: You can look but dont touch!"  - QueenMagrat

"Actor Kai: Whatcha lookin' at?" - Griever

"I might be alive, but you still ain't gettin' any" - theFrey

"Geez, if you're going to be such a whiny little milk-suck...okay. Gawd.. I'll let you try on my dress AFTERWARDS..."  - mayaxiongXev: 

"All right, if the actor does not need comfort, they don't need dogs, either." - LiannaX

"Xenia: Michael! Get up! We're late! ...   Michael: Whaaaaaat?...  Xenia: You overslept, everybody's ready, get dressed!    Michael: Damn...What time is it?" - DJ KGB

"Actor Kai: Take a number and wait your turn." - PeridotEyes

"Actor Kai: I want to save myself for my wedding night.  Xev: Are all you earth guys like this?" - emma_peel

"Aw, geez. Another blonde with a perfect body in a sexy outfit. When will it ever stop?!" - StormBorn

"Xev: Kai, tell me the truth now, what's your right hand doing under the blanket???" - NB1

"Actor Kai: Wow, I had this nightmare that I was a weird dead guy with a bad hairdo who went around singing the same song continuously and hadn't been laid in 6,000 years. I have got to stop watching Seinfeld re-runs before I got to bed." - bookwurm

"Actor Kai (in pain): Tell me Xev...who put this thumb tack on my seat?" - Griever

"Actor Kai: It was horrible. I dreamed I was this actor playing a 6000 year old gorgeous dead guy who sleeps in a freezer and sings this really weird song, and...and there were these drooling women everywhere. They called themselves the...oh, it's too horrible...they called themselves 'drool-sisters!'" - Granamyr

"Kai is heartbroken at having lost the part of Wayne Campbell to Mike Myers." - Granamyr

"Xev closes her eyes in exasperation, Dead Kai is emotionless, Actor Kai is emotional. She just can't win." - theFrey

"When the sex-obsessed meet the self-obsessed...no one is happy." - PeridotEyes

"Actor Kai:  Uh.. No Xev.. you are mistaken, the actor does not have 'premature performance ' problems.. 5 minutes is as long as all of my.. performances..." - mayaxiong

"To mousse...... Or not to mousse? That is the question..." - BlackDove

"Actor Kai mumbling: Give it a rest, lady... I wouldn't be caught dead with you." - LiannaX

"Michael: It's seven in the morning. Why do we have to start shooting this early?...   Xenia: I know...I can barely stay awake myself." - DJ KGB

"Not tonight, Xev...I have a headache." - PeridotEyes

"To sleep, perchance to dream - aye, there's the rub!  It's these army surplus undies - gaaah." - Aurora

"Xev: Oh God! he's singing that Brunen G song again." - emma_peel

"In love with me for 6,000 years? This isn't a groupie--this is a stalker!" - StormBorn

"Actor Kai laments: Do you know what it is like to bear this burden of raw sexuality every minute of your life???? Uh, Maybe I should ask somebody else that question" - NB1

 "Kai: Nope, nope... if I slice my head down the center it doesn't magically heal back together..!   Xev:  Oh... sorry I suggested it for your show then, heh." - elfie

"Actor Kai thinking: Maybe if I walk away fast enough she won't realize my hand is stuck in my hair." - Sarcasmagoria

"Actor Kai thinking: Oh man I need a joint, this chick just won't leave me alone!" - angelmay

"Xev: When I open my eyes you better be naked.  ActorKai: Oh I can't perform under this pressure!" - QueenMagrat

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