Kai's Komic Kaptions 17
"Crew sings: Hi ho.. hi ho. It's off to Lexx we go.... as soon as we can find a way, hi ho, hi ho hi ho." - theFrey
"Excuse me folks, but I'm with Internal Revenue.. and need to talk to the guy that made the deduction for hairspray.. um...folks...wait... where' you going? Understandably annoyed IRS auditor..." - mayaxiong
"Stan says to Xev: What are those people looking at? Haven't they ever seen a love slave and a studly security guard follow a dead guy before?" - bookwurm
"Why are you people following us? The show is over, go home now!" - theFrey
"I don't know but I've been told/Dead assassins are mighty cold/Sound off...1, 2..." - StormBorn
"There's a Bug following us! Run for it!" - StormBorn
"Brian whispers: Hurry and take the pic! This will *prove* I have the best butt in the cast..!" - elfie
"Xenia: Run Michael it's a pack of droolers! Brian: I'll hold them off" - Hypatia
"This is the version of The Beatles' 'Abbey Road' album cover that never saw the light of day." - Sarcasmagoria
"Michael: Cars following us *again?* Xenia: You didn't tell those internet fans about the wrap-up party, did you? Brian: Ehh... *no*..." - LiannaX
"Pardon Me, do you have any Grey Poupon????" - NB1
"Kai: The dead,the lizard woman and the guard do not Jay-walk..." - Griever
"Stan, Xev and Kai: Does my bum look big in this?" - Griever
"Sometimes I worry we might be violating the Prime Directive." - DalekTek790
"No, we're NOT headed for a frat party. Why?" - dgrequeen
"Stan: Well you said 'Hey sexy ass'...... how was I to know you meant it for Xev?!" - BlackDove
"Xev: Stanley, get your hand out of my skirt! You're not man enough to handle the consequences!" - Anubis
"Ummmm, of course I know what I'm doing. Doesn't it look like I know what I'm doing?" - theFrey
"Gah..I can't get the sports channel on this cheap airplane radio.." - mayaxiong
"No, we are NOT there yet. - PeridotEyes
"It takes a long time for your life to pass before your eyes when you're 6008 years old." - StormBorn
"Um... which one of these doggone buttons summons the flight attendant? Geez, I'm dyin' for a vodka Collins!" - dgrequeen
"Chewbaca? Spock? Apollo? Help!" - emma_peel
"Brunnis, we have a problem..." - Sarcasmagoria
"Kai after accidentally hitting a button: Oops! Oh well, most of them probably don't do anything." - LiannaX
"Kai thinks to himself: Damn those space capsule designers, I told them I needed more 'bun' space and they made the bottom of the chair bigger!!!" - NB1
"While the rest of the crew is occupied, Kai surreptitiously airs up the bun" - Kali
"'Temporal orbit'? What is 'temporal orbit'?" - DalekTek790
"Kai: Open the pod bay doors Lexx Lexx: I'm afraid I can't do that Kai...." - QueenMagrat
"Kai (looks in the rearview mirror): Hmmm, I need a touchup. Anybody got a comb?" "dgrequeen
The dead may not poo, but they sure do get gas.." - Jen
"They always say not to push the red button, but they all look red!" - Lazarus7
"Hey, don't b*tch at me, talk to wardrobe, they're the ones who put you in a stenciled horse blanket. I've been wearing this mass o'macramé for six years now, do you hear *me* complaining?" - theFrey
"Kai: If you don't tell that idiot to stop chanting..'ohm..' I'm going to thwack him.." - mayaxiong
"Kai has never been defeated in a staring contest." - PeridotEyes
"Don't get macho with *me*, buddy. You want the love slave, you can have her." - StormBorn
"Yes, I did say Zeppelin sucks--wanna make something of it?" - StormBorn
"Kai: Mr. Osbourne... Ozzy, you *have got* to get new back up singers." - elfie
"Kai: Hey didn't I see you in that 'Planet of the Apes' movie?" - bookwurm
"Kai: No, the difference between you and Jagger is that he was *good* in his prime" - Hypatia
"Kai: No, Mr. St. Hubbins, I *don't* know how to play the drums. Why do you ask?" - Sarcasmagoria
"Kai: I don't care if you are the first pregnant man in the Two Universes, the Dead Do Not Deliver Babies........" - NB1
"Kai: Whoa! like total Zepplin throwback dude!...they were like soooooo 5000 years ago man..." - Griever
"MothMan and Super catholic Monk team up." - emma_peel
"Kai: No, I DON'T have any spare change! Geez, I thought you only ran into these weird cult dudes in *airports*!" - dgrequeen
"MM thinking:...err...filming just finished...he's still standing there...oh maybe those *are* his own clothes...whoops...(help? somebody? where are the droolers when you need 'em?)" - Griever
"The fit on Xenia's costume has been driving Michael crazy for years, so he takes this opportunity to make a few slight alterations." - thefrey
"Kai: Hmphh..clone me, will they....I'll show them...I'll make up my OWN clone.....now just a little more silicone here....hmm...just right" - mayaxiong
"Xev to Kai: You can take a quick peek under my hood anytime. Kai: The Dead don't peek." - bookwurm
Kai: Just a little closer... closer (if she wakes up, I can pretend I was sleepwalking, heh heh)" - dgrequeen
"MM: Haha! Now Xenia has to deal with being in the hot, cramped, stinky box!" - elfie
"Hey, her tattoo came off after I rubbed it." - emma_peel
"When Xev passed out after downing her 13th shot of tequila, Kai decided to have a little fun with her and write 'LOSER' on her stomach in permanent ink." - Sarcasmagoria
"Kai mumbling to himself: 'Very well, Xev. If you insist on falling asleep in my cryopod, let's see how much you like waking up in Stanley's bed. The dead do not like cryopod-hogs.'" - LiannaX
"Xev: Oh, great! I'm deader than a doornail and NOW you want to hug me!!!" - NB1
"Now watch, Stanley. If I press here...See? The belly button pops out!" - Kali
"Since Xev would no longer have any use for her clothes, Kai decided to make a few alterations...for his only private collection...." - QueenMagrat
"Maybe if I keep this dying act up Kai will give me mouth to mouth." - DalekTek790
"Kai can now find out if they are real or silicone." - BlackDove
"Seeing as though Xev is unconscious, Kai grabbed this opportunity to give her a quick feel up!" - Emma
"MM: You're sure the card is in there? They're the long-stems, right? Read it back to me... 'My apologies.. thanks for visiting.. signed.. Grumpy Smurf.'" - mayaxion
"Kai: Stan... are you done yet with this game of *catch the channel logo in your mouth*??? ::MMuummpphh!!::" - elfie
"A stricken look comes over MM's face as he notices three Lexx fans making their way toward him - must plan course of evasive action!!! Oh, thank God, Downey's talking to them!!!" - NB1
"Is the camera on? Is it?? I can't see anything with this hair in my face!" - Princess of Fire
"Michael in a puzzled voice: So you are saying that being nice to my fans would be a good idea?" - theFrey
"Kai in an Aussie accent, Skippy style: ...huh? what d'ya say Logo? two boys trapped in the old mine near Bear Creek, and they're gettin' hungry? quick lets go..." - Griever
"A spin-off series? More hook-rugs and 20 pound hairpieces, and...and droolers?? Dear God, noooooooo!!" - Kali
"Kai shudders at the thought
of riding with Stan, after Stan tried to feel him up." - Foxtrick