Kai's Komic Kaptions 18
"SEALED ASSASSIN - In case of evil intruder or sex craving, break glass." - DalekTek790 Winner of the 4th Kai Kaption Kontest
"I'm not exactly sure what Kai is doing in there, but he is steaming up the cryopod something fierce." - theFrey
"Kai awakes with a sigh, realizing the Lexx's giant invisible cat has been playing with the cryopod. And the string. Again." - PeridotEyes
"Damn this new carwash, why can't they get the windows clean?" - mayaxiong
"Stan and Xev go to incredible lengths to keep the Assassin's gas from permeating the Lexx." - PeridotEyes
"MothMan: Damn you Superman! Keeping me stuck in the fortress of Solitude." - emma_peel
"Kai thinking: They couldn't get me something like a nice padded coffin, or a bed or something. Nooooo, it had to be this hard, tilted, hot, enclosed cryopod thingy! Come on, take the shot already!" - dgrequeen
"MM thinking: Hey where am I? I thought I was in Lexx? not the Crystal Maze!" -Griever
"Having had clogged pores for 6008 years, Kai decided to turn the pod into a sauna..." - Griever
Dear God, I wish I was dead.........oh, shit!" - Emma
"It's raining, it's pouring, the dead man is snoring -- Kai: the Dead do not snore!" - StormBorn
"Kai thinks: Why me? Yes, I know I killed all those innocent people, but do I really deserve to be cooped up with these two?" - theFrey
"Ya know, from this angle, Stan's butt really *doesn't* look all that bad!" - dgrequeen
"Kai feels a major pout coming on." - canuk
"For the last time do not dis the bun...(click of brace opening...)" - Griever
"He's Re-Brooding." - emma_peel
"You want me to do WHAT with my brace?!?" - PeridotEyes
"Having to endure another of Xev's seductive strip-teases, Kai glowers in exasperation, 'Xev, you just don't get it...'" - mayaxiong
"Think you can read this expression? Do you, punk? Do you? Go ahead, make my millennium." - PeridotEyes
"I wish Xev would get over me. Or do I?" - PeridotEyes
"Xev: I have a bonage kit I want to try on you. Kai: Oh, I don't EVEN think so!!!" - Foxtrick
"Kai: not this again....STAN!! For the last time, I'm NOT a shrink!!" - kenni2317
"Is this 'THE POUT' my clones keep talking about?" - Micro Mary
"Kai: Gee, I think my bun might be falling over. Maybe I should have bought that jumbo sized hairspray that had on sale at K-mart." - bookwurm
"790, that is the worst impression of Anne Boleyn I have ever seen!" - canuk
"Kai moves swiftly to *pout* mode as he is told his hair is stupid." - Emma
"Kai looks understandably p*ssed off after just being chosen for 'This is Your Life'...." - Griever
"I remember...I was a gay hairdresser when I was alive. And Xev, dahling, let me do something for you!" - StormBorn
"Michael pouting: -
Not another one! All of these droolers always hangin' around the set! Can I (for once) have some peace and quiet?"
- Nika
"Well yes Fifi, I like you too. Why? What did you have in mind?" - theFrey
'Why, yes Fifi, I *do* like to dance...but not with people who don't shower." - PeridotEyes
"Say sailor, going my way?" - fx
"Fifi: I just love these mixers here on Fire Island, don't you? Prince-Kai: Stop trying to lead.." - mayaxiong
"Kai: I spotted you across the Gondola. May I have this dance?" - dgrequeen
"Fifi, I was going to throw you overboard, but now I find myself strangely attracted to you." - canuk
"Kai: um....so..er do you come here often?" - Griever
"Fifi: What, you mean you're NOT a shapeshifting Goth chick? I, er...um, I'll be leaving now... *backs away*" - DalekTek790
"Fifi: Kai, do you wanna make out? Kai: The dead do not enjoy French Kissing." - bookwurm
"Kai: Fifi, could you please remove you hand from my butt? (Fifi does so) Okay you can put it back now." - Emma
"I picked up this hitchhiker, sweating gallons through a Fruit of the Loom tank top and Daisy Dukes cut-offs..., Oh, wait, I've never heard of the Bloodhound Gang, have I?" - StormBorn
"Oh, yeah, baby! Closer, harder, more!" - StormBorn
"Live Kai: Fifi... you know...I've never told anyone this... baby, I want you to be mine... Xev? Why would we tell her? She'd never understand how strong my love is for you..."
- Nika
"What did you just ask me??" - theFrey
"No, the Dead do *not* like boys. The Dead are straight." - PeridotEyes
"The Last of the Brunnen-G does not appreciate having his hair his hair pulled. Keep your hands off my bun." - PeridotEyes
"Kai: I don't know if Vlad had any other victims, but they'll become vampires also, when the moon is full.. Right Patsy? Patsy?..." - mayaxiong
"Next time you touch my bun you'll will be one hand short, Patsy." - PeridotEyes
"He was a failure to his dad, Mr. Rogers, when he decided to go Patsy." - emma
"Kai: Who IS this geek? He keeps following me around, and sticking his tongue out at me!" - dgrequeen
"Nerd: Will you sign my com badge, Mr. Data?" - DalekTek790
"Never stick your tongue out at the dead kid." - Foxtrick
"Kai: The Dead do not need *more* droolers..." - Griever
"Kai: I have pokeled mothers with their babies...great philosophers, proud young warriors.... Patsy thinking: Wow, dead, gorgeous, experienced, and doesn't like love slaves...*drool*" - Griever
"Kai: I don't care if you love me, which way to Macdonalds?!" - Emma
"Lip-licking 101 class" - StormBorn
"No, Patsy, I am not bogarting the joint. Wait your turn!" - StormBorn
"Kai: No, this is not
Hair Dressing 101 and you cannot lick the bun." - bookwurm
"MM practices 'the pout' before going to hair and makeup.. Yup, this is my meal ticket, all right...oohhhh baby, I'm so gorgeous I can't stand me ..." - mayaxiong
"Zev just thinks she knows what a bad hair day is!!" - theFrey
"I'm...too sexy for my hair...too sexy for my hair...it hangs from here to there, too sexy, I'm too sexy..." - PeridotEyes
"McManus secretly exults in the one and only time a bad wig day doesn't matter." - PeridotEyes
"Michael and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Wig Day." - PeridotEyes
"Kai: *I'm really gonna chew up the scenery in this one! [insert evil laugh here]* MM knows this may be his only chance to emote in S2 and he intends to take full advantage of the opportunity." - PeridotEyes
"Pucker up baby!" - emma
"Kai thinks: Did I forget something??? Oh yes! .....be sick, kill some slow some fast..." -Indy
"Yeah, I know, my eyes are yellow and my hair's a mess! I don't care, pucker up and gimme a kiss!" - dgrequeen
"Ooooo. Look. .....fans. How sweet." - theBrother
"The bun look is dead. Say hello to the hip new Kai." - DalekTek790
"Kai thinking: I wish I'd never gone to the Ozzfest..." - Griever
"What do you mean I can't go to the reggae festival? I even got my best Bob Marley look going!" - Lazarus7
"MM to hair-stylist, after looking in the mirror: You are *so* dead man..." - Griever
"Hmm, It might be a bit too humid in here." - Jillians_Husban
"Kai finds out his hair-gel WASN'T" - Emma
"Kai: What do you mean did Stevie Wonder do my hairstyle?" - Griever
"Xev and Stan shake their heads in pity at Kai... Kai singing: 'No woman, no cry...' See...? I CAN be a Rastafarian." - Nika