Kai's Komic Kaptions 19

"You can pout and look at me with puppy-dog eyes as much as you want Xev, but that does not change the fact that you have been a bit of a pain ever since we got to this little blue planet." - theFrey

"Kai: Sorry Xev, but the Britney Spears look-alike contest is already over." - mayaxiong

"Kai: This is MY red balloon! Got it? Mine! So keep your mitts off!   Xev: All RIGHT, geez, Kai, selfish much?" - dgrequeen

"Kai: Bad little girls who throw temper tantrums do get any toys for Christmas!!" - kenni2317 

"Kai: In my memories, the terms 'frat party' and 'hangover' occur simultaneously."  - Anonymous

"Kai: Xev I could never love you. One: I'm dead. Two: Your hair is a mess!" - Hypatia

"Instead of fighting over the keys to the Moth Mobil,  Moth Man and Belly Button girl have a staring contest. Now in it's 5th hour!" - emma_peel

"Kai: And another thing, young lady, when I tell you to be back on the Lexx by midnight, I mean midnight and not l5 minutes after....if it happens again I will put you over my knee, understood???    790 can be heard in the background:  Don't say that, Dream Man, the slut would enjoy it!!!" - NB1

"Kai: For a while there, I found you strangely attractive...now that you're alive again the feeling is gone." - PeridotEyes

"Kai: You were dead, now you're alive again...HEY, PAUL, WE'VE DONE THIS ONE BEFORE!" - PeridotEyes"

"Kai: The Dead do not find whoopee cushions funny." - PeridotEyes

"Kai: Okay Xev, what did you do with my mark?   Xev: What mark?   Kai: The mark that is usually on my cheek, that represents the journey of my people from the dark zone to the light universe!!!   Xev: Oh, that, I have no idea what happened to it! *smirks*" - Anonymous

"Xev: ""What is it, Kai? And this BETTER not be more about that wheel..." - DalekTek790

"No, Xev, you can't twiddle my rods!" - angelmay

"Xev is confused by the dead's sudden interest in cleavage" - Kali

"Actually, I remember having a fondness for Whoopee cushions..." - PeridotEyes

"The dead do not bake chocolate chip cookies. Ask Stan to help you." - angelmay

"Get your hand off my codpiece, Xev." - angelmay

"Kai: The dead think those are magnificent... Huh? Oh, yeah we brought you back to life and stuff." - DalekTek790

"Pout all you want, Xev, but I'm STILL not taking off the codpiece." - Sarcasmagoria

"Xev: Kai, be honest, is my hair a mess?   Kai: Yes most definitely.....I mean no, no.....oh, shite!" - Emma 

"Kai: No Xev you cant try on my boots...or my brace..." - Griever

"It's okay, Dr. Kai is here now... where does it hurt Xevy-Wevy?" - Nika


"Ooooo goodie, another few hours and I will be completely Xev-pervious. Unless she's into splinters, that is." - thefrey

"MM: Wooo Hoooo! I just got employee of the month!" - Griever

"MM: Yey! we escaped the droolers!  BD thinking: I wish someone would drool over me..." - Griever

"MM dances in glee during the final shot, knowing he never has to wear that heavy wig again!!" - mayaxiong

"Ooo! Oh, honey! That feels so good! ACK! Is that Stan over there?" - dgrequeen 

"Kai: Let's do the Time Warp again!" - Griever

"Stan, do I look bad when I do this, or does it turn you on?" - kenni2317

"Kai practices his skills from being in the cheerleading squad." - emma_peel

"Michael is so happy this is the last season it spills over into his performance of Kai." - PeridotEyes

"Kai:  Wait a minute...NOW I remember what sex is. Hey Xev, I've decided to redefine what the dead do and do not do..." - DalekTek790

"To kill time, Kai whistles the theme to the Andy Griffith show." - angelmay

"Kai reacts to his first ever sourpatch gummy bear!!" - NB1

"Kai, ""WOOOOOO, I won the lottery, now I can buy myself a new cryopod!!!" - angelmay

"Stan looks away in embarrassment as Kai breaks into an enthusiastic rendition of 'YMCA.'" - Sarcasmagoria

"Kai tries not to laugh as he waits for his silent fart to reach Stan." - mike

"Oh, goody! More horticulture!" - StormBorn

"Kai thinks to himself: Maybe I can lose Stanley in the woods so don't have to listen to his constant wining anymore." - bookwurm

"Kai: Ha ha! I never said Simon says!" - Griever

"This is Kai after a few protoblood-vodka cocktails...
Stan: I know one thing the DO do..." - Nika


"Kai thinks: .........  Oh, you know what?  I'm not sure I want to know what Kai was thinking during this." - thefrey

"When five o'clock shadow meets five o'clock shadow it is never pretty." - thefrey

"MM silenty mulls over the unfortunate rider in his contract that gave him the option to kiss every 'female' in the series.. 'What was I thinking?' - mayaxiong

"Tweedle, this is the last blow-up doll I'm inflating for you!!!" - NB1

"Michael: OK, Downey said he'd get even. Wonder how much he paid this one?" - dgrequeen

"Kai: Arrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!" - Griever

"They said Lexx is anti Star Trek. But he's going were no man has gone before!" - emma_peel

"MM to himself: I am *so* glad this is the last season. I'm not EVER gonna kiss another man as long as I live!" - PeridotEyes

"Must *everyone* on this planet sit on my lap?" - PeridotEyes

"You think YOU have bad breath, try kissing a DEAD GUY!!!" - angelmay

"Blondes have all the fun!!" - angelmay

"Just one more reason for being 'fan-shy'" -Kali

"Blond Dude, singing: I didn't mean to turn you on.    Kai: Not a prob." - PeridotEyes

"The dead DO have bad breath!!" - angelmay

"Kai thinking to himself: Why is it they always want to kiss the dead guy?" - angelmay

"Kai thinking:  Oh, there are sooo many things the dead do not do right now." - DalekTek790

"At press time, MM is still recovering from this scene with special guest star Carol Channing." - Sarcasmagoria

"Kai thinking: Thats the last time I answer ad's in the lonely hearts column again" - Griever

"Kai hadn't realized what *losing* the Bad Wig contest would involve" - StormBorn

"Kai: "I never knew that kissing a man in drag could be so wonderful." - bookwurm

"Kai thinks: Wow... this transvestite kisses better than Xev!" - Nika


"I'm sorry sir, but you and your tall friend are not allowed to bring blow-up dolls into the bar" - mayaxiong

"Stan: She wants me.   Lady: No, I want him.   Kai: I will always love you, Stan" - kenni2317

"Woman: She's dead? Yeah, right, that's what your buddy in black said about himself. Dead drunk, is my guess." - dgrequeen

"Kai thinking to himself: Damn, Xev! Can't you ever stay out of the sauce?" - dgrequeen

"Dummy puppet Xev! Now coming to a toy store near you." - emma_peel

"Look, we have this love slave and she's hardly used at all, can you please help us fix her?" - PeridotEyes

"Stan: I'm a ventriloquist and this is my doll, Xev." - angelmay

"Druid Hooker: Hi sailors, new in town...? Hey! The necrophilia tent is two doors down!" - Kali

"Stan: I am a ventriloquist and this is my dummy, Xev." - angelmay

"Kai: I told you Stan, dead farts do not replace smelling salts.   Druid Lady: Phew, what crawled up you and died? Oops, my bad." - Catrice

"Kai ponders the delicious irony that the dead Lexx crewmembers now outnumber the living." - PeridotEyes

"Druid Lady:  Won't she regenerate if you wait for a while?  Stan: We're, uh, not the same weird space-travellers you're thinking of." - DalekTek790

"To everyone's surprise, Kai discovers he is a 'knee' man....." - NB1

"Stan frantically: Someone help me! My blow-up doll is deflating!" - Emma

"Kai: Hmmn...I'm finally beginning to find Xev attractive!" - StormBorn

"Stan: I'm trying this new form of chiropractic treatment. How would you like to try it out with me and the love slave at Motel 6?" - bookwurm

"Stan: What did you do Kai?!  Kai: Well, I told Xev to be careful... I just let one rip!    Xev: *hack* Geez! If he didn't kill anyone with his brace, he sure sent them to their doom with that waft!" - Nika


  "But just look at him sire, he's only 6000 years old! Lots of good use left in him and he's cute too. Please can't we take him home with us?" - thefrey

"Kai remembers why the dead do not do Renn Faires" - Kali

"MM discusses future job offers with the members of the Ballet de Trockadero...  'Ooooh, I know he's a little stiff, but we can loosen him up..'" - mayaxiong

"Guy in red: Oh, and then you'll NEVER guess what SHE said! Oh, this is so funny! I just love dishing gossip, don't you?" - dgrequeen

"Kai, last of the Brunnen G. Most wanted man in the Two Universes, dead or alive." - PeridotEyes

"I know, I know he's dead. But who said the dead can't act?" - angelmay

"Puck:  He followed me home, I swear. Can I keep him, pleeaase?!  Oberon: Oh, alright. But you're cleaning up after him." - Catrice

"Kai: Oberon, please tell him to Puck-off!" - Poet_Man

"Puck: Please father, can we keep him he's so cute....  (Kai grabs him in the b*lls) *Puck continues in a high pitched voice*  'Maybe not...'" - Emma

"Circuses just keep getting weirder all the time..." - StormBorn

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