Kai's Komic Kaptions 28


"Seven more episodes.... I can make it. Seven.. more.. oh god help me!" - theFrey

"MM: Yeah, yeah, yeah lady I know I'm gorgeous, but could you kinda hurry it up, there's a queue you know...." - Griever

"MM: Oh no more droolers" - darkcrow23

"You're doing it wrong!" - LexxLurker

"Michael thinks: Jeez all I wanted was an expense form, do I really have to be snogged by everyone on this production?" - sue

"Kai thinking: What is it with these women? They all smell like fudge!" - dgrequeen

"Tina: Hey Kai, you smell just like Old Spice!  Kai: The Dead do not use aftershave." - mayaxiong

"Tina whispers in Kai's ear: Ditch the ditzy blond and the bellhop, and meet me out by the old oak tree...I've got something to show you!" - Doffy

"Tina: My very own dead assassin! Thank you Lord! Thank you! I'll love him and kiss him and squeeze him to bits!" - PrimaNightwind

"The Hair! The Hair!" - Insipida

"The dead do not kiss back...unless there is some Insect essence livening them up." - DalekTek790

"You've got Tina on your face, Kai." - PeridotEyes

"Kai discovers that Earth girls ARE easy." - PeridotEyes

"Super Glue chap stick" - GotHope

"Tina adds a bit more air to her new ironically life-like Inflate-A-Kai." - sgtdraino

"Kai: I said *G e t o f f m e* not get off with me!" - Griever

"Hey lady the dead don't kiss on their first date ok" - darkcrow23

"Tired of Kai's constant attentions, the Sci-Fi logo shoves Tina into his arms, hoping to distract him while it makes good its escape. - Wordsmith

"Yuck! Cooties!" - PeridotEyes

"Take a number, Tina." - PeridotEyes

"Kai: Oh Ferchrissakes, for the last friggin time, I AM NOT Elvis, okay? Jeez, you groupies need to get a life!" - Sarcasmagoria

"Okay, I'll give this so-called heterosexuality one more try." - Flamegrape

"Kai: I have Good News, Tina, I am finally feeling some emotions. Tina: Really, Kaaaiiii? Kai: yes, they are nausea and repulsion. Is'nt it wonderful???" "NB1

  "Yessss Michael.... looking good, strike the pose, work it! - theFrey

"Kai: I spit on you now in the name of His Divine Shadow." - LexxLurker"

"Kai: I have spat on mothers with their babies, great philosophers and proud young warriors and revolutionaries. I have spat on the good the bad, the innocent the weak.. and the beautiful. But it's been a while since a spat on a sci-fi logo!" - Griever

"Kai: this wall is soooo comfy" - darkcrow23 

"The dead do like sci-fi logos" - darkcrow23"

"Kai: Oh yeah, 4000 year old burrito on deck." - LexxLurker"

"Michael: Argh! Never a spit-can around when you need one!" - dgrequeen

 "Oh God, another living girl has made *another* pass at me. *sigh* why oh why wasn't it like this when I was alive?" - Griever"

"Paul D: Michael, wake up, you've got a line here!! He always does this
after a big lunch.  MM: Sssnnnkkxxxxx " - mayaxiong

"Kai thinking: From this height, you can really hawk a loogie on someone. (Props to 'Wayne's World')" - Sarcasmagoria"

"Kai: No! I won't eat it! Never! Ptui!    Xev: Come on now, Kai, you know you have to eat up all of your soy-protein protoblood substitute! Come on, just one more spoonful!"  - PrimaNightwind

"There's nothing worse than the taste of spoiled protoblood." - Doffy

"After Tina's kiss the ick factor overwhelms." - PeridotEyes

"The dead do not feel emotions, but Tina's kiss is really yucky. Patooie." - PeridotEyes

"This stuff had definitely passed its expiry date." - PeridotEyes

"Rooster Chew Tobacco really sucks!" - GotHope

"Not only do the Dead poo, sometimes they puke." -PeridotEyes

"Xev, the next time I say I don't want to eat a lemon, believe me!" - Menolie

"I think you've been misled, Xev. Raw oysters are simply disgusting, nothing more. - Wordsmith



"And *why* exactly are you showing me this? The dead do not.... Hey! What exactly is Debbie Doing in Dallas? - theFrey 

"Tina tries with little success to get Kai into the Karma Sutra." - darkcrow23

"BCGgirl: Come'on everyone! Yo-way-Yo...." - LexxLurker

"Tina: And this is Mom and Dad and me and Boo-Boo at Disneyland... Kai thinking: *sigh* The dead wish they were back on the Cluster." - dgrequeen

"Kai: If I've told you once I've told you a hundred times, I play Chopsticks by myself, Tina." - mayaxiong

"It's for the best, Kai. You'll be better off here at the Dead Assassin's Institute. I'll *personally* take expert care of you. Say 'bye-bye' to your friends now..." - PrimaNightwind

"Kai realizes to his dismay what the term 'chick flick' means, and wonders if this movie is ever going to end." - Doffy

"You'll Laugh! You'll Cry! Don't miss it! Coming to a theater near you!! The highly anticipated movie: 'The Odd Couple: 2002' No one admitted under 4,000 years old." - NB1

"Tina: This was the pilot, but none of the networks would pick it up. So Gene Roddenbury filmed another pilot with William Shatner as the captain, and N.B.C. bought the first season. So then when he needed two more episodes, he cut it up into flashbacks and interspersed them throughout this two-parter.  Kai rolling eyes: Uh-huh..." - DalekTek790

"Bambi's mom died. Noooooooooo!" - GotHope

"Hey a photo from Kai and Tina's first date" - darkcrow23

"Tina breaks in a new dummy for her ventriloquist act." "Logan55"



"Michael holds very still and listens carefully. He can hear it sneaking up behind him in the dark. Feeling a deep unease grow within him he catches a glimpse of the dreaded, 'Be careful what you wish for!' monster!" - theFrey

"MM: Nooooo! The cancelation was a joke. We're being picked up for many more seasons. Noooooooo!" - darkcrow23

"Kai is busy reading Frey's captions" - LexxLurker

"McManus hears the footsteps of unemployment sneaking up behind him." - PeridotEyes

"Kai: Can't let logo beat me in staring contest. I must win. My Reputation is at stake." - darkcrow23

"There it is again! That little bubble thing with the ring around it! What *is* that?!" - dgrequeen

"Kai listens for the sound of Stan coming down the hallway so he can
jump out and yell 'Booga Booga!!'" - mayaxiong

"What do you mean? This *is* my good side!" - PrimaNightwind

"Kai contemplates the future: When this is all over, I'm gonna find myself a nice relaxing black hole somewhere, where there are no whiney security guards or needy lizards. Just me and a nice soothing plasma. Yep...that'll be great." - Doffy

"I recognize that image. It is the symbol of the Divine Gerbil Order." - DalekTek790

"Kai: I know that sound....  Xev: Yes but you cannot remember it...  Kai: Sure I do its another woman *thudding*!" - Griever

"Kai and the sci-fi logo sing a duet" - darkcrow23

"Where'd this epaulette come from?!?" - PeridotEyes



"'I. AM. NOT. SPOCK!!   Umm, Kai, I mean I am not Kai!  I'm Michael d*mnit!',   Michael becomes increasingly distressed at his inability to retain his main identity." - theFrey

"Kai Crying: This part of the movie is so hard to watch. Xev Offscreen: There, there, Kai it'll be all right." - darkcrow23

"Kai starts to tell the crew about the Comet heading towards the Lexx then decides he is dead and really doesn't care anyway." - LexxLurker"

"I know I forgot something, but what is it?" - Sorsha"

"What is that THING!?!? It's gonna hit me in the face!! AAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!" - dgrequeen

"Kai has a major Senior Moment, which is only to be expected after 6008 years." - theFrey

"Kai: Geez! We've FINALLY gotten off that blasted planet! Now I can have
some peace and quiet for once....wait, I forgot something, ARRGGHHH!!
I left my cryopod on Earth!!" - mayaxiong

"I'm giving it all up, yes. The rags, the wig, the brace....I don't have to give back the boots, do I, Paul?!" - PrimaNightwind

"The dead do not whine...the dead do not whine....aw hell! GIMME BACK THE REMOTE!!" - Doffy

"Kai has a senior moment. Yo-Way-O, Home Va Ya...drat! I've forgotten the words!!" - Doffy

"MM reacts as his agent just informed him that he signed him up to make an appearance at the next Uncon....." - NB1

"Kai crying:  Why can't they not tease me about my hair i don't tease them about theirs" - darkcrow23

"Kai:  Alright...WHO got fingerprints all over the window after I washed the moth?" - scifiend


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