Kai's Komic Kaptions 32


"Awwww, come on Paul. Just one more game? Please?" - theFrey 

"MMM twack? What the h*ll does that stand for?" - theFrey

"Trying to read the cue cards is getting harder for the soon-to-be 40 MM...." - mayaxiong

"I suspect you don't realize I'm dead yet huh Xev" - darkcrow23

"Oh my god! What's that smell?! Is it that moldy looking Scifi logo thing? Jeezus!!" - dgrequeen

"This is how Kai would of froze if he was in clockstoppers." - GotHope

"Kai ponders how he could beat Prince at chess, yet never win a single game of Mah Jongg." - SlyseGrl

"Logo-sign, I must confide something in you. Stan and I... are TOGETHER... but DON'T tell Xev!" -  scifiend

"No, sorry, Mr. Logo... I'm happy with the long distance plan I have now." - ottokell

"790, where did you find my spare bun?" - Azaelian

"Kai: No logo Im not cheating on you!" - Xeviver

"Kai is arguing with the voices in his head" - Xeviver


  "Who dares to suggest that I am not perfection personified?" - theFrey

"The dead do not know anything about a bill from a hair salon." - darkcrow23

"Look, I am running low on proto-blood, I recently had a large carrot up my butt, and I haven't had sex in 6,000 years. So get off my case about an *attitude adjustment*, you wouldn't be smiling either..." - NB1

"Logo, your breath is atrocious, get out of my space." - Wild Woman

"Kai preferred Lyekka's former wardrobe." - Wild Woman

"I do not know. How many evil geniuses *does* it take to put a bumper sticker on the back of the Lexx?" - PrimaNightwind

"MM: Um...what do you mean my parking isn't validated here anymore? We're still shooting aren't we....? Paul...Lex...where'd everyone go?" - mayaxiong

"Kai: Ummm, Stan, could you, um, put your pants back on, or something? yeah, thanks." - Metallissa

"Kai looks askance at the logo, soon their time together will be over." - PeridotEyes

"Oh no! The stinky thing is getting closer!! GAH!!!" - dgrequeen

"Kai: I don't want to alarm you, but there is a black form in this room with us, I believe it may be an Insect. Xev: Kai, your hair is in your vision, again." - DalekTek790

"Kai is fed up with Logo." - Wild Woman

"And the last thing he saw before passing out was the planet Saturn heading straight for his nose..." - Sarcasmagoria

"Logo, have you ever heard of B. O.? In my memories there is a substance called deodorant. Try it sometime." - PeridotEyes

"Oh, that was your cat I ran over? Oops, er, uh, sorry..." - ottokell

"Are you CERTAIN that Suave hairspray is better then Aquanet?" - Azaelian

"Kai: Who Me??" - Xeviver

"Kai: Who says the dead are not beautiful?" - Xeviver


"All right Michael, have it your way, tomorrow you get first shot at the hairdresser. It's not going to help the wig any, but go ahead and try the earlier time slot ya big baby" - theFrey

"C'mon, Mikey, you can do it, we're nearly done." - PeridotEyes

"I *know* you used the last can of hairspray, at least you could admit it." - Wild Woman

"I *like* her flowerpot hat." - Wild Woman

"Xev: Sorry Kai. But Bunny is a better kisser." - GotHope

"Xev: No, Kai, I TOLD you, the glass goes in a separate can from the plastic and paper trash....and another thing....   Kai thinking: Damn it, shut up already, I have a protoblood hangover.." mayaxiong

"C'mon, Michael, you can make it! Twenty down, only four to go." - PeridotEyes

"Fine, I'll talk to someone about getting your name billed first. Now will you come finish the scene?" - SlyseGrl

"Xenia: Michael, get over it! You know there was no way they were going to change the name of Thailand to Kai-land....!! God, does your ego have no bounds!!!??" - NB1

"is it just me or is Kai a little nervous at the fact that Xev is behind him" - darkcrow23

"Kai's still giving Xev the cold shoulder." - Wild Woman

"Xev: How come you never smile when I grab your ass Kai?" - LexxLurker

"I knew it, Kai! You've been cheating on me with the logo all this time, haven't you?" -StormBorn

"Xev: SOMEBODY didn't put the SEAT BACK DOWN!" - ottokell

"Kai, who used up the rest of my Herbal Essence shampoo?   Kai: I don't know, have you asked 790?   Xev: 790 doesn't have any hair!    Kai:The dead do not use Herbal Essence, we buy our hair care products from salons." - Azaelian

"Kai whispering to himself:   Why is the logo sign so mean to me? Xev : Shhhh" - Xeviver

"ya know how in cartoons they always have the devil and angel talking to the charactor... well Xev is Kai's devil" - Xeviver

"Xev is trying brain washing spells on Kai.... 'And when you wake you will love me'" - Xeviver


"Xev, tired of Kai being constantly punctured, decides to shield him with Lyekka." - theFrey

"All right, Lyekka, you stand in front of Kai, Stan you go....Oh man, now where'd he get to, We can't play this hopscotch thing without him...." Arania

"Xenia looks at Michael in horror. 'You *want* to play golf? You are aware the beer doesn't come until the end, right?" - PeridotEyes

"Kai: Is it OK if my threesome plays through?" - Wild Woman

"Life size Barbie. Move her arms and legs any where. Life size AA Battery converter sold separately." - GotHope

"Xev: Kai! Pay attention! I'll hold her like this and you thwack off her head! Quickly now!" - PrimaNightwind

"Xev and Lyekka's game of  I'm not touching you....' is starting to piss Kai off....." - mayaxiong 

"Larry, Moe, and Curly play golf." - PeridotEyes

"Kai, Lyekka, and Xev model their Light Zone golf fashions." - PeridotEyes

"Nooo, not the flowerpot hat again! " - PeridotEyes

"Xenia:  Ack! Louise, your costume's torn in the seat of the pants! And you're not wearing underwear! Here, Michael, you walk behind her while we go to wardrobe.  Michael: Suuuuuure!" - dgrequeen

"Kai: Lyekka, I just jumped out of the boat, chased after you through dense brush, almost messed up my bun and now you want to get back in the boat????!!! Xev, get her away from me before I punch her in the face!!!!" - NB1

"Xev: And this golf course was put in in '93. Kai: Quit playing tour guide Xev" - darkcrow23

"Kai: It has just occurred to me that Lyekka was never 'probed' for the presence of a carrot...Hold her still for me, Xev!!! I will be forced to use my bare fist!" - NB1

"'Kai, Lyekka, and Xev search in vain for the 'eighteen holes.'" - Wild Woman

"Kai: The dead do not menege-a-troi" - LexxLurker

"Xev: No Kai, you must't kill that poor little robin!    Kai: Oh yeah? It could have aimed for her hat, but noooo..." - ottokell

"Kai thinking: If only the dead wore hats...."- Azaelian

"Xev: I'm never carrying Stan's blow up doll again!" - Xeviver



Fishing trip's over, Stan! We're out of beer! - Congratulations to Ottokell, winner of the 7th Kai Kaption Kontest

"Last warning bozo, you are between me and the men's room!!"  - theFrey

"Say hello to my little friend" - darkcrow23

"Xev: Kai, is that a long rod or are you just happy to see me?" - GotHope

"You will sing Yo-A-Oh with the rest of us or you will go over the side!" - PrimaNightwind"

Kai: Alright, tell me who put the X-Lax in my proto blood and no-one gets hurt..." - Griever

"MM: I said don't move, don't make me use this!!!   Paul off camera: Michael, it's just an oar... MM: Oh....never mind.." - mayaxiong

"NO, we are NOT there yet." - Wild Woman

"Another a pit stop? The Dead do not make pit stops." - Wild Woman

"MM: I'm hot, I'm sick and this boat is tough to drive. Forgive me if I have no sympathy for your hair problems." - PeridotEyes

"HAH!! You just *think* it's a boat rudder! It's actually my secret-spy boat-rudder weapon thingy, and if you try anything, I'll plug you with it! James Bond ain't got nuthin' on me!" - dgrequeen

"Kai: Egads! It's closing in! - Kai attempts to furiously paddle away from logo-sign, who is bent on grabbing the dead man's butt." - scifiend

"Ever since that carrot 'incident' Kai has had the ability to propel a boat by the sheer power of intestinal gas...." - NB1

"What do you mean you KNEW we should have taken that left turn at Albuquerque?" - Wordsmith

"The Dead do not care if you sunbathe nude." - PeridotEyes

"You think *your* hair looks bad? *Exxxxcuuuuuse ME!*" - PeridotEyes

"Captain Kai: Make it so!" - Wild Woman

"Shouldn't I have a parrot and an eye patch?" - Wild Woman

"Kai: When I say I need the can I do *not* mean 790 dammit!" - Griever

"Settle down, NOW! Don't make me come up there!" - PeridotEyes

"Kai: If you two do not knock it off RIGHT NOW, I shall shall pull this boat over and TAKE YOU OVER MY KNEE!" - Sarcasmagoria

"Due to the popularity of 'Wake the Dead', the new season will feature an episode entitled, 'The Dead's Wake'...." - NB1

"The Dead do not care about scantily clad women." - PeridotEyes

"Eyes the bye who builds the boat, Eyes the bye who sails her....." - canuk

"I've got this marlin hooked good, and you want me to let him go? Never!" - StormBorn

"Kai remembers that he didn't use to just like fishing, he was obsessed with it." - StormBorn

"Damn it! I left my waterproof assassin suit back on the Cluster!" - StormBorn

"The dead do not stop for pitstops, or directions." - darkcrow23

"After six thousand years, Kai's still the best looking Dead man in the Heart of Darkness Zone." - PeridotEyes

"Fishing trip's over, Stan! We're out of beer!" - ottokell

"Hah hah... traveling through wilderness, paddling in a canoe in a nice, calm river... Xev will never find me... oh my god... Xev's here. HELP ME! HELP!" - Chameleon


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