Kai's Komic Kaptions 38

The dead do not have a last nerve... the dead do not have a last nerve... - theFrey

Stanley's new scheme for picking up for women. Get a bike, leather jacket, and have your thumb all the time saying Ayyyyyyyy!" - emma_peel

The dead would rather not ask 19 more questions to ascertain what is in your hand. - DalekTek790

Kai, Pull my Thumb. -HDS

Kai: If I angle my brace just so, he won't have time to run - Camelyn

Stan: Kai, we gotta talk. I just get the feeling your heart isn't in this anymore.  Kai: I do not have a heart to put into 'it,' Stanley. - stormsweeper

Aww, cmon! Even the dead gotta like thumb wrestling! - stormsweeper

A little more this way... Okay, that's good. Here you go, Xev, your very own Kai Klone doll. Boy, these guys sure are realistic. - Wordsmith

Stan tries to convince the Sci-Fi logo that it would be even more comfortable riding on *his* sleeve. - Wordsmith

Maybe if I close my eyes, he'll shut up. - Arydion

Stan: No, Kai, the dead do not smell. Cross my heart and hope to die. - dgrequeen

Brian: My next gig is an Italian Mobster. How do think I'm doing with the hand motions?   Michael: Ummmm? Act more like your smacking someone. Or a fish. Ya! Smacking a fish. - emma_peel

Uh, Kai, stand still, will ya??? When I said 'Let's Shake', I meant my hand!!! - NB1

Kai: O god another 'when I was a heretic' story. Its at times like these that I wish i were dead...ah crap I am. My bad... - Griever

Paul!!!!!!!! I got a piece of hair in my eye again from this god darn it wig1!!! - lolo

The dead do not do shadow puppets. - Sassy Assassin

Stanley: Well, I think this is rather egotistical and frankly, quite stupid, but here goes: I pledge Allegiance to Kai, and to the Deadness for which he stands, one Brunnen under cryostasis with protoblood and braces for All - NoBullczw

No,....Stanley,......no matter HOW much you try to convince me,. I don't believe that your 'equipment' reaches clear out to there!! - Stanelle 

STAN: Now Kai, rock beats scissors. how many times do I have to tell you? - P_T_Bando

Stan: I was thinking about getting them to about here.  Kai thinking to him self: I knew I wasnt the only fruit on board - Midori

Kai: No, thank you, Stanley. I do not wish to see a demonstration of your Famous Fluff Daddy Wrist Action Technique. -  sci4kai

Did you check out the one on the left? She had boobs out to here! - Sassy Assassin



I'm not looking Xev, just button your top up right now. - theFrey

Oy! 4000 years in a cryopod will give you such a crick in the neck! - Camelyn

Kai talks to the voices in his head: Don't mind their dirty looks. They're all jealous. Jealous because you guys only talk to me! - emma_peel

Sci-Fi logo, I do not care. You may ride on Stanley's sleeve if you wish. - Wordsmith

No, I do NOT stuff a sock down there, and I'll thank you to stay out of my personal affairs! - Sarcasmagoria

Think they'd find me if I hid behind those props? - Arydion

Michael to Scifi logo: Tell the truth. You're a Kaidrooler, aren't you? - dgrequeen

Kai: I was head banging at a pearl jam concert last night and now my neck hurts. Head Banging is now a Dead Do Not! - emma_peel

Kai to Xev: In my day young lady people wore more than that to get in the bath! Now get dressed properly, or I'll have to do it for you.  Xev: But that's what I wanted Kai!    Kai: ...o...  - Griever

Kai: Hey! I don't fool around o.k.??? Either crap or get off the tongue, that's what I say!!!!! - NB1

Oooooooh yessssssss! They told me all about girls like that Xev......on Brunnis,.. but it was just my bad luck to meet her AFTER I died!! - Stanelle

Ok, stop me if you've heard this one....a Sci-Fi logo walks into a bar...... -  Sassy Assassin 

Kai: Vi oh Way Yo... ALRIGHT EVERY BODY!!! Vi OH WAY RA!!!... - Midori

Kai: NO, Bunny. I did NOT accidentally smear my lip-liner. - sci4kai



I understand already. Okay. I get it. The dead do not like sex. But... if you could just suggest a three some to Xev... - theFrey

Oh, that feels good! -HDS

Stan: Honest Kai! I *never* said you had funny hair! - Camelyn

I, Captain of the Lexx, award you with this medal for Valor and Bravery in your never-ceasing battle with the *Wig from Hell*. - Insipida

Brian: I can't stand it.   Michael: I know. The Director of photography has a thing with Blue gels this year. We will help each other get through it bro!  Dir. of Photo.:Put in more Navy CGB!   Brian: Noooooo! - emma_peel

I just wanted to say thank you, Kai, for helping me and the Sci-Fi logo get together. I think we really have something special here. - Wordsmith

Stan falls asleep in the middle of another of Kai's 'I've killed mothers and their babies' speech. - Sarcasmagoria

Stan: Please tell me they aren't mooning me again.  Kai:  They are.    Stan: Oh, quit it! I've had enough already, I tell one groupie they have a nice butt and everyone wants my opinion! - Arydion

Stan: If you'll just give me a chance....(Stan falls to babbling and crying) Kai thinking: I can't deal with this. I'm NOT the sentimental type.. - His-Divine-Assassin

Stan: You see Kai I didn't so much 'spike' the protoblood, just well experimented a bit more with it... - Griever

Stan: Back off, Kai, you Dead Dope! You're standing on my foot!!! - NB1

Now you see, when a mommy divine assassin and a daddy divine assassin love each other very, very much, they can get together and make a little baby divine assassin... - stormsweeper

Oooooooooooh yes,..Kai!!! Scratch just a little more to the left.  Kai: Stanly! Really! You know that I am *not* that kind of an assassin!! Have you no morals? - Stanelle

I don't know how to tell you this, Kai, but there's a new product on the market called Selsun Blue..... - Sassy Assassin 

For the zillionth time, Stan attempts to involve Kai in a threesome...  - WildWoman

Stan..., Stan..., I can hear you snoring from my cyochamber - P_T_Bando 

Stan: Damn it i always loose these staring contests!!!  Kai: I've told you before Stan. The Dead do not Blink.. - Midori

Kai: Gezhundheit, Stanley. - sci4kai

[On talent night at the local club]  Kai: quit pushing Stan, the dead don't do Elvis! - lana evitneter




Stan: I wanted to tell you Xev, but Kai insisted we keep our love a secret. Xev... I'm not moving until you put the gun down. - theFrey

And now for my Visnu impression! - LexxLurker

Hold still Kai, my zipper is still stuck. - HDS

Kai: I'm sorry, Stanley. The dead do not...cuddle - Camelyn

You know Kai, you're right... Your sleeve really does taste of raspberry! - idiotboy

Kai: I was helping him put his model of Lexx together.  Stan: I thought it would be fun, but the glue won the best of us. So Xev can you pull me off his back and @SS?!? - emma_peel

Kai gets caught in the middle when the Sci-Fi logo and Stan have their first (and last) really big fight. (Unfortunately it got mad at him too for having encouraged it and Stan to get together in the first place. Eventually it stormed off, swearing it would take up residence elsewhere.) - Wordsmith

Kai: A little to the left...down more...OK, now PULL!   Stan: Jeez, when that guy said you really have a stick up your ass, I didn't think he meant that *literally*! - Sarcasmagoria

Kai:  What is it Stanley?   Stan:  I saw it again! Save me, Kai!   Kai: Stanley, there is no such thing as the boogeyman. Now, let's go and I'll tuck you back in bed. - Arydion

Kai: Stan, you *better* not be back there reaching for my butt! - dgrequeen

Kai: Stan! Break out of it! Those witches put a spell on you. You are not a dog! Now stop sniffing my butt!  ' Xev, get the hose!- emma_peel

Xev, Stanley has asked me to give you a message, 'You're it!' - NB1

Stan: you know Kai, us Heretics used to snuggle like like this back on the Cluster - P_T_Band

Kai: Wow.. Stanley I never knew your hand was that big - Midori

Xev: ...98...99...100! Ready or not, Stan! Here I come!    Stanley: *SHHHHH! Shhh-shh! Okay, c'mon, Kai! Help me out here, ole buddy!*    Kai: Uh, Xev? May I...see you for a moment? - sci4kai




..and that Xev is how a person gets hairy palms. - theFrey

Kai, could you help..Me. I am getting sick of using my own hands. - HDS

Kai: Do not be embarrassed Xev, not everyone can count to five without using their fingers - Camelyn

I thought you said the dead do not poo?" - stormsweeper

C'mon, I won the bet Kai. Just fork over the 5 bucks already.  The dead do not owe. - TwilightRhapsody

Xev pointing at her palm: Right here. The lines makes K B G. We are SOUL MATES! - emma_peel

Xev: I *might* be able to talk the Sci-Fi logo into making up with you...in exchange for a bottle of mousse. -- A *full* bottle.   Kai: *Half* a bottle. - Wordsmith

Kai:  Xev?    Xev: Yes, Kai?  Kai: If I told you, that you had a perfect hand, would you hold it against me?   Xev: Quit teasing me, it's not funny anymore! - Arydion

Kai: No, I do *not* want my rods twiddled! I do not know where those hands have been! - dgrequeen

Xev: Have you ever wondered what hands are really for? - emma_peel

Kai: We don't need employment Xev, tell that guy you're not interested in doing his 'hand job'.... - NB1

Kai: Xev, take some advice, the next time Stanley wants you to 'hold something', run!! - NB1

Xev: Next time you have me fiddle with your power rods,...tell me how much grease that you put there first!! - Stanelle

Kai: Well, don't blame ME for it!! You *insisted* on playing with my power rods!!!!!! -Stanelle

Xev: 'On the other hand, Kai, I have different fingers.' -  WildWoman 

Xev: That was a serious sneeze, huh?. Look at that. P_T_Bando

Xev: What? that's it? Its so tiny!!  Kai: You can put it back now Xev - Midori

Kai: Xev, I believe that you are unnecessarily concerned about this.   Xev: *sniff* But, Kai, 790 told me that the OTHER Zev's cup-size was out to HERE! - sci4kai

Kai: I think that the Earth people call it, 'A Happy Ending'. - NB1


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