Kai's Komic Kaptions 39
After six thousand and eight years.... even ex-divine assassins have senior moments. - theFrey
Damn this forelock! - HDS
Space out time - emma_peel
Crap! I should have stopped and bought a map. Well, I don't care, I am *not* going to stop and ask for directions! - dgrequeen
Did I leave the
iron on? - Sassy Assassin
Whatchu talkin'
about , Stanley? - stormsweeper
Red leader, this is Assassin. The target is in sight.. ..I repeat, target is in sight! ...Radio crackles, Assassin, this is red leader. The target is green! I repeat, the target is green! You are a go, Assassin! - blues man
Kai Mutters to himself: Kai, kill Prince...Kai, go get food for the Lexx...Kai, do this...Kai, do that...geez, don't the dead get a day off? - Sassy Assassin
I wish a hat would fit so I could keep this sun out of my eyes. - P_T_BandoUh-oh.
I *knew* I should have gone before I left. - sci4kai
Wha--? The GRAND CANYON!? Dammit! Zev said this moth always goes to TORONTO on April 1st! - sci4kai
Where will you be when your diarrhea comes back? - Kat Kramer
What the Hell?? What's going on down there on the Lexx....mmmmmm, Xev must be dating a midget....looks like she has to kneel down to talk to him...." "NB1
"Kai:
sniff sniff, Stanley why do I smell your soc....Oh God how many times do i have to tell you not to put your wet sweaty socks over the moths air condition!!!" "ZEVOFB3K
Kai whispers back: Xev do you *see* any rest stops around here?
Kai: Oh wait, I see a hippo...no is a elephant! - HDS
Xev: I just *love* the smell of your aftershave. What is that? Eau de cryopod? - dgrequeen
I *knew* it! That's *my* cologne you're wearing! - Sassy Assassin
Xev: Kai? Kai: Yes Xev? Xev: I do beweth im stuphk to your fath. Kai: You should not lick the dead - Midori
Oh Darling, this is the *best* Honeymoon, ever! - Blues Man
He said kiss your ass goodbye, Xev, not kiss your assassin goodbye! - Sassy Assassin
Xev: You know, if we put all the rods together in ONE BUNDLE..... - Sassy Assassin
Xev: How my gonna ge mu tung unsthuck? Kai: I told you not to lick me after cryostasis. - P_T_Bando
Xev, please. I have no desire to join the Mile High Club. - sci4kai
Kai: No, Xev. I have not heard of Mike Tyson. Why? - sci4kai
Kai: For the last time Xev, I'm not kissing you back till you use that stuff called shampoo, alright???" "NB1
Kai wonders when Wednesday Adams bleached her hair... and why was she replacing Xev? - theFrey
Kai: There was only on female smruf character. All the others were male. Why didn't I realize that before? Xev? Xev: Lucky Bitch! -
Kai thinking: Good God. Did Xev just let one? - dgrequeen
Kai thinks: If she doesn't stop humming that damn song...BAM!...with the brace....right in the face! - Sassy Assassin
Kai:You WHAT with the moth?! Xev meekly, after realizing this could be bad: I filled the engine with TNT. I only wanted it to go a little bit faster.. - His_Divine_Assassin
Xev: Alright, so i just pull on this thing and.. Kai thinks: One more word out her mouth and I'm throwing her out of the moth.. - Midori
....But it's not like I faked it *all* the time! - Blues Man
The dead do not stop and ask for directions! - streudel
Xev: Kai, did we just hit some poor man? Kai: No, we did not. We hit a balloon transporting a multi-millionaire named Steve Fossett. - Wordsmith
Xev: I swear I was only doing 55 - P_T_Bando
Xev: Okaaay, so I shift THIS way to make the moth fly forward, and THIS-- Kai: *Ahem* Xev...THAT is not the moth's gearshift. - sci4kai
Do I look like I am from around here lady? No I don't know which turn you take to get to the Super Wal-Mart. - theFrey
Woman: Look honey, the assassins come right up to the car! Man:This is much better than the last drive through safari we went on. - lizard
Kai: Pardon me, do you have any gray poupon? - HDS
Kai: Excuse me.. but do you know where the nearest Kryopoddy is? Driver: I thought the Dead did not poo.. Kai: The Dead do not do alot of things.. but they do need to visit a kryopoddy every now and then.. Kai busts out laughing at his awful joke - midori
Kai: Hi, my sleeve has been stuck in your door for the past 257 miles. Could you cut me off now? - emma_peel
Kai: Nice Car! It has a really big ENGINE! - emma_peel
Kai: Hey, y'all going to Fort Worth? I'm just *dying* to see The Stockyards. - dgrequeen
No, really, it's ok, don't worry about it; I was dead BEFORE you hit me! - Sassy Assassin
Stephen King: ...Ok, Ok! Let me get this straight. Your an Assassin, who's been dead for over Four Thousand Years and you live on a Bug with a Security Guard for a Captain and a half Lizard Love Slave. Is that about it? Well, you have a pretty good imagination for a Deadman! .......And they say *I'm* weird! - Blues Man
Lady: Hi could you tell me how to get to.. Kai: Do I look like I live locally? No. Do I look like I care? No. Do I look like I know what the hell you're on about?. Do I look like I'm about to kill you...YES! - Griever
Kai: May I get your autograph, Xev is a huge Elton John fan? - P_T_Bando
Pardon me, Sir, but we're curious. Exactly what does that sign mean, 'WILL WORK FOR PROTO-BLOOD'? - sci4kai
No I do not live locally. Quite the reverse. - Mysteriosa
Kai: Okie-dokie, let's see now, that's two double cheeseburgers, two orders of rings and two chocolate shakes, will that be all, Sir???? (Kai, struggling to make a living on Earth at a Drive-in fast food restaurant)" "NB1"
"Patsy:shhhhhh he is just a hitchhiker now stop before he hears you." "ZEVOFB3K
Kai ponders a question that has puzzled many a viewer... How is it that the dead develop five o'clock shadow? - theFrey
Kai: *looks around* **Frrrrrt** - HDS
Surveying craft services table: Drat! Smoked salmon, filet of sole, plain tossed salad... why don't they ever give us hamburgers, or pizza! Dammit, I'm hungry!! - dgrequeen
The dead do not do anything before they get some coffee. - stormsweeper
Kai thinking: Now if I hold it a little bit longer... - Midori
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, 'cause I am the BADDEST S.O.B. in the valley! - Sassy Assassin
That's what I keep trying to tell you Xev. The Dead do not get a 'Woody'. You are wasting your time, this *is* as excited as I get. - Blues_Man
I told you we're through, Sci-Fi Logo! *sniff* I saw you on Stan's shoulder last night, you slut! *sniff* You never really cared about me at all, did you? *sniff* - Sassy Assassin
zzzzzzzzzzz.......Huh? Wazzat? No, the dead do not sleep! - Sassy Assassin
I should of used Preperation-H" - P_T_Bando
Hmmm.... To braid or not to braid? Maybe some blonde highlights.... - sci4kai
Hmm...let me see. Why did the chicken cross...? WHY DID...the chicken...? - sci4kai