Kai's Komic Kaptions 39


After six thousand and eight years.... even ex-divine assassins have senior moments. - theFrey

Damn this forelock! - HDS

Space out time - emma_peel 

Crap! I should have stopped and bought a map. Well, I don't care, I am *not* going to stop and ask for directions! - dgrequeen

Did I leave the iron on? - Sassy Assassin

Whatchu talkin' about , Stanley?  - stormsweeper 

Red leader, this is Assassin. The target is in sight.. ..I repeat, target is in sight! ...Radio crackles, Assassin, this is red leader. The target is green! I repeat, the target is green! You are a go, Assassin! -  blues man

Kai Mutters to himself:  Kai, kill Prince...Kai, go get food for the Lexx...Kai, do this...Kai, do that...geez, don't the dead get a day off? - Sassy Assassin

I wish a hat would fit so I could keep this sun out of my eyes. - P_T_BandoUh-oh. 

I *knew* I should have gone before I left. - sci4kai

Wha--? The GRAND CANYON!? Dammit! Zev said this moth always goes to TORONTO on April 1st! - sci4kai

Where will you be when your diarrhea comes back? - Kat Kramer 

What the Hell?? What's going on down there on the Lexx....mmmmmm, Xev must be dating a midget....looks like she has to kneel down to talk to him...." "NB1

"Kai:  sniff sniff, Stanley why do I smell your soc....Oh God how many times do i have to tell you not to put your wet sweaty socks over the moths air condition!!!" "ZEVOFB3K



Kai whispers back: Xev do you *see* any rest stops around here?

Kai: Oh wait, I see a hippo...no is a elephant! - HDS 

Xev: I just *love* the smell of your aftershave. What is that? Eau de cryopod? - dgrequeen 

I *knew* it! That's *my* cologne you're wearing! - Sassy Assassin

Xev: Kai?  Kai: Yes Xev?   Xev: I do beweth im stuphk to your fath.  Kai: You should not lick the dead - Midori 

Oh Darling, this is the *best* Honeymoon, ever! - Blues Man

He said kiss your ass goodbye, Xev, not kiss your assassin goodbye! - Sassy Assassin

Xev: You know, if we put all the rods together in ONE BUNDLE..... - Sassy Assassin

Xev: How my gonna ge mu tung unsthuck? Kai: I told you not to lick me after cryostasis. - P_T_Bando

Xev, please. I have no desire to join the Mile High Club. - sci4kai

Kai: No, Xev. I have not heard of Mike Tyson. Why? -  sci4kai

Kai: For the last time Xev, I'm not kissing you back till you use that stuff called shampoo, alright???" "NB1




Kai wonders when Wednesday Adams bleached her hair... and why was she replacing Xev? - theFrey

Kai: There was only on female smruf character. All the others were male. Why didn't I realize that before? Xev?   Xev: Lucky Bitch! - 

Kai thinking: Good God. Did Xev just let one?  - dgrequeen

Kai thinks: If she doesn't stop humming that damn song...BAM!...with the brace....right in the face! - Sassy Assassin 

Kai:You WHAT with the moth?!    Xev meekly, after realizing this could be bad: I filled the engine with TNT. I only wanted it to go a little bit faster.. - His_Divine_Assassin

Xev: Alright, so i just pull on this thing and.. Kai thinks: One more word out her mouth and I'm throwing her out of the moth.. - Midori

....But it's not like I faked it *all* the time! - Blues Man

The dead do not stop and ask for directions! - streudel 

Xev: Kai, did we just hit some poor man?   Kai: No, we did not. We hit a balloon transporting a multi-millionaire named Steve Fossett. - Wordsmith 

Xev: I swear I was only doing 55 - P_T_Bando

Xev: Okaaay, so I shift THIS way to make the moth fly forward, and THIS-- Kai: *Ahem* Xev...THAT is not the moth's gearshift. - sci4kai





Do I look like I am from around here lady? No I don't know which turn you take to get to the Super Wal-Mart. - theFrey

Woman: Look honey, the assassins come right up to the car!   Man:This is much better than the last drive through safari we went on. - lizard 

Kai: Pardon me, do you have any gray poupon? - HDS

Kai: Excuse me.. but do you know where the nearest Kryopoddy is? Driver: I thought the Dead did not poo..   Kai: The Dead do not do alot of things..  but they do need to visit a kryopoddy every now and then..  Kai busts out laughing at his awful joke - midori

Kai: Hi, my sleeve has been stuck in your door for the past 257 miles. Could you cut me off now? - emma_peel  

Kai: Nice Car! It has a really big ENGINE! - emma_peel  

Kai: Hey, y'all going to Fort Worth? I'm just *dying* to see The Stockyards. - dgrequeen

No, really, it's ok, don't worry about it; I was dead BEFORE you hit me! - Sassy Assassin 

Stephen King: ...Ok, Ok! Let me get this straight. Your an Assassin, who's been dead for over Four Thousand Years and you live on a Bug with a Security Guard for a Captain and a half Lizard Love Slave. Is that about it? Well, you have a pretty good imagination for a Deadman! .......And they say *I'm* weird! - Blues Man

Lady: Hi could you tell me how to get to..  Kai: Do I look like I live locally? No. Do I look like I care? No. Do I look like I know what the hell you're on about?. Do I look like I'm about to kill you...YES! - Griever

  Kai: May I get your autograph, Xev is a huge Elton John fan? - P_T_Bando

Pardon me, Sir, but we're curious. Exactly what does that sign mean, 'WILL WORK FOR PROTO-BLOOD'? -  sci4kai

No I do not live locally. Quite the reverse. - Mysteriosa

Kai: Okie-dokie, let's see now, that's two double cheeseburgers, two orders of rings and two chocolate shakes, will that be all, Sir???? (Kai, struggling to make a living on Earth at a Drive-in fast food restaurant)" "NB1" 

"Patsy:shhhhhh he is just a hitchhiker now stop before he hears you." "ZEVOFB3K


Kai ponders a question that has puzzled many a viewer... How is it that the dead develop five o'clock shadow? - theFrey

Kai: *looks around* **Frrrrrt** - HDS

Surveying craft services table: Drat! Smoked salmon, filet of sole, plain tossed salad... why don't they ever give us hamburgers, or pizza! Dammit, I'm hungry!! -  dgrequeen

The dead do not do anything before they get some coffee. - stormsweeper

Kai thinking: Now if I hold it a little bit longer... - Midori

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, 'cause I am the BADDEST S.O.B. in the valley! -  Sassy Assassin

That's what I keep trying to tell you Xev. The Dead do not get a 'Woody'. You are wasting your time, this *is* as excited as I get. -  Blues_Man

I told you we're through, Sci-Fi Logo! *sniff* I saw you on Stan's shoulder last night, you slut! *sniff* You never really cared about me at all, did you? *sniff* - Sassy Assassin

zzzzzzzzzzz.......Huh? Wazzat? No, the dead do not sleep! - Sassy Assassin 

I should of used Preperation-H" - P_T_Bando 

Hmmm.... To braid or not to braid? Maybe some blonde highlights.... - sci4kai

Hmm...let me see. Why did the chicken cross...? WHY DID...the chicken...? - sci4kai



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