Kai's Komic Kaptions 43


Michael:  What are you talking about Brian, it's not too cold to do another take.    Brian: Geeze Mikey, of course you aren't cold, I wouldn't be cold either if I was wearing a freaking rug! - theFrey

We're almost there, Stan. Just hold it a little longer.- stormsweeper

Stan: But I don't wanna go! The kids at school make fun of my hat!   Kai:  I thought you wanted to be a starship captain when you grow up. Now Stanley, do you think Capt. Picard could've gotten where he's at by cutting class? Without a proper education, you'll probably end up a lowly Class 4 security guard like your crazy Uncle Frank! Now be a good boy and get on the bus.   Stan: Yeah, yeah, make your Mom and me proud,  BLAH, BLAH, BLAH... Maybe I should just steal a starship and run away from home instead!!! - streudel 

Hang on, Stan, I'm LOOKING for a mens' room!- Sassy Assassin

Yes, Stanley, people do lose their car keys all the time....but that does NOT explain how you could lose the key to the Lexx!- Sassy Assassin

Kai, I think your fingers are a little to cold to be doing that right now!- P_T_Bando

Okay Stanley but the Dead do not normally warm tooshies.- LexxLurker 

I did tell you to wear your mittens. - Awesome Aud

MM: Maybe I shouldn't have slipped Brian the whole tub of X-Lax...- Griever

Stan: I don't know, Kai. Xev sure was mad we short sheeted her bed. What are we gonna do now?   Kai: Gee Stanley, it was your idea! Why'd ya have to get me in trouble too?   Stan: Ya' big baby. - Shmooie

Kai: Just think of something warm, just think of something warm.    Stanley thinking: I know it will never happen but snuggling Xev's woozies, snuggling Xev's woozies!- ZEVOFB3K

Kai: Yes, Stan,..I know that you fingers are freezing up! My protobloods freezing up too!    Stan: Yeah,..Kai,..and my toes are getting stiff!! My everything is getting cold and stiff!     Kai: Well... it would be indecent to tell you what is happening to... my power rods!!- Stanelle 

Kai: Hurry up Stan!! I've got to go too!! I just hope that this thing is a two seater!!    Stan: The moth?   Kai: No! The outhouse!! - Stanelle

Stanley, I swear to God, there are no mechanical carrots around here!- Sassy Assassin 

Stanley:Are you cold       Kai: No, the dead do not get colddd..*teeth chattering*  Stanley: You sound and look cold.   Kai: Well I'm not.  Stanley: Are you sure?  Kai: Yes now shuuuut *chatter* up Stanley!- ZevofB3k

Kai: You said it was a cold carrot that attacked you Stan?- lana evitneter

Michael: Quit yer bitchin', Brian, I deal with droolers all the time!   Brian: Yeah, but yours aren't usually 6'6 300lb. former pro wrestlers!- Sassy Assassin  

Stanley: Honest, Kai, I didn't *mean* to do it!    Kai: It's all right, Stanley. I can understand how you might fall for Prince.- dgrequeen

Stan: I swear to ya Kai, I didn't know she was that kind of girl!! Thank God you came along when you did! Do ya think you'll be able to get these handcuffs off me??-NB1

Kai: What is it Stan?    Stan: Aww gee, Kai I, I don't think I can tell you.   Kai: Just tell me Stan, I can see something is bothering you.    Stan: Well Kai.. oh... [blurts out] I'm in love with you too! - Vexxev 

Stan and Kai visit Iowa during winter big mistake on there parts. - dark crow 

Stan:  Hhhey KKKai I dddare you lick the ffflagpole.   Kai:  Nnnot Funny Ssstan - darkcrow

Kai: That's it pal, you're off to jail for public indecency!   Stan: But how was I to know she was just an ice sculpture?- ottokell

Stan:Your hand on my butt feels very warm. - Kerri Groves


Don't make me come back there and separate you two! - theFrey

To hell with proto-blood; find me some proto-conditioner!- Sassy Assassin

One more peep out of you two and I'm pulling the moth over!- stormsweeper

MM: For the last time I do not *do* conventions! There may be droolers present!!- Griever

OK, which one of you cut the cheese?!?- dgrequeen- - 

Kai: Tell scifi logo I hate him and I never want to speak to him again! - ZEVOFB3K

So, you should have gone before we got into the moth!- Sassy Assassin

Kai: No,..Stan..(sob!) N0,..Xev,..you didn't hurt my feelings. (sniffle!) I always whimper..like this before we land on a new planet!!- Stanelle

Kai thinking to himself:  If I hear 'Stairway to Heaven' one more time I'm gonna kill somebody!- lana evitneter

No, we are not 'there' yet!- Sassy Assassin

Kai: Xev, Stan, don't judge me, okay? I was young and needed the money! Posing nude for the Brunnen GQ was the only way to pay the rent!!! So now you know every sordid detail!-NB1

MM: Please don't ever say that I look like Sandra Bullock again.-Griever

This is a cheap set...you can see the zipper in the background!- ottokell




 Kai and Xev get all GQ for their Cult Sci-fi photo op. - theFrey

Should I tell her that's my g-spot? Naaahhh.... - Sassy Assassin 

Xev! Will you pay attention, I wrote this just for you. - P_T_Bando 

Hold still, Kai. We need a good shot for the Xevivor DVD cover art .- Awesome Aud

Michael thinking: She's touching me! Gaaaah!  Xenia thinking: If I turn my face just a little more *this* way, they'll get the full effect of my lips. - dgrequeen 

Xev, Action hero.- Hope

Kai thinking to self: She's touching me again...Why is she always touching me! Can I make it any clearer, The dead don't...- Thodin

Kai: The Great Gastsby, Chapter One. . . .  Xev: I'm going to go see what Stan is doing. . . - Xev_Clusterlizard_loveslave

Kai: She's touching me... again!  I've told her not to touch me like that,..  but she never pays any attention... no, not Miss Sexy Love Slave Xev!!! - Stanelle

Kai: Xev, stay perfectly still....I'm going to quickly reach around and grab that blue caterpillar off your neck!-NB1 

Xenia faces the sun for a 'hope of a brand new day' closing shot as Michael ponders what he's just sat in.-Vextraxev

Not now, Xev. I need to check the box scores.- ottokell

Kai checks script and thinks: Damn, just how many more times do I have to get in this moth with Xev?" - Sassy




It's a ticket from the FAA, for reckless operation of a moth over a metropolitan airspace. - theFrey

I would like to speak to both of you about my VISA bill. Stan, do you know anything about a purchase from Victoria Secrets? - Thodin

Kai: This is the fourth Paternity Suit filed against you in six months Stan!! Does the term 'protection' mean anything to you, son???!! - NB1 

Yes, I quit! I've had enough of this stupid wig and being upstaged in every scene by a prop!- stormsweeper 

Stanley, this is your fifth speeding ticket this week! From now on, Xev drives! - Sassy Assassin 

Stan:  I thought we stole the Lexx?  Kai: Well it says here we owe $47,000,000 in back payments on it. - P_T_Bando 

Okay Xev the manual says to squeeze the red bulb twice to go up, and push to go down. - LexxLurker

I just can't work with this script Brian I'm sorry...- LexxLurker

Stan, I told you to leave the porn on the Lexx so you won't get distracted while we're on earth.- Compguy

Kai: Who forged my name for a snow blower and some silk panties??! - ZevOfB3K  

Kai: Xev, I found this Love poem under your pillow, It's about you Stan.  Xev: You bastard! - Xev_Clusterlizard_loveslave

Kai: I don't quite understand it either, but apparently we're finalists in the Publisher's Clearinghouse Contest.. - NoBull

Kai tries in vain to read Stan's hand writing - darkcrow

Stan, I asked you to print direction from Mapquest, not seek erections from FapBreast!- ottokell


No Stan, I do not think a 'Friendly' game of poker is a good idea. And besides, you don't have the owners card for the Lexx to use as table stakes. - theFrey

Ok, Stanley, you win the bet....her hair's red EVERYWHERE! - Sassy Assassin

Please, Xev, not in front of Stan! - Kittytrek6 

MM: Maybe if we stand still the droolers will think we are giant blow up dolls.  Brian:  You can act like that, but I barley get any droolers, bye bye! - ZEVOFB3K

Kai: Stanley, this is Morba, from the Planet Naturel, as you can see, they are primarily known for their habit of shunning clothing. - NB1

Kai: I think she was talking to me Stan... - Thodin

Kai: That was a great idea Stan, installing a two-way mirror.  Stan: You better believe it buddy!- lana evitneter

Kai: I don't think she meant it as a compliment! - LOLO

Kai: You've decided to go to bed with STANLEY??? Ewwww, Xev!- dgrequeen

Good afternoon, Madam. I am Mr. Kai, and this is Mr. Tweedle, and we'd like to take a moment of your time to talk about Jehovah. M'am? M'am? Hello?- ottokell

Stan: Kai, your codpiece is tickling me. - Kerri Groves


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