Kai's Komic Kaptions 44


No matter how badly they may want to, the dead cannot hold their breath until they turn blue. - theFrey

Kai thinks: Sometimes I wish I where dead....oh damn I am !- sue 

Kai thinking to himself:  When I got up this morning, I just knew it was gonna be one of those days!- lana evitneter

Kai: What? Oh well that happens when you're dead. . .- Xev_Clusterlizard_loveslave

Stan:  Kai...     Kai: Brrup, bvvvp, Beeep,,Brrrp!  Stan: Kai.. stop.
Kai: Brrrph! Beepfh! Brvvvvp!  Stan: Kai stop making fake trumpet sounds!   Kai: Brrp,WEEEP! Beedeedp!.  - HDS

Being that it was open mike night at the local bar, Kia felt a sudden urge to entertain the crowd. He decides to try his ventriloquist act with little success...- Thodin

Kai: Whosse you callin' drunk?? I've lonely had two itty bitty wittle beers!!! O.K., two dozen itty bitty wittle beers!!!! Burp:!- NB1 

Kai struggles as he tries a new pout - LOLO

Been hanging around the droolers too long, I'm fantasizing about MYSELF!- Sassy Assassin

I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your sci-fi logo down!- Sassy Assassin

Aw hell, how am I gonna tell Stan that I lost the Lexx in a poker game?- Sassy Assassin

The crowd goes silent, as Kai levitates the logo with pure thought.- P_T_Bando

Kai thinks: Hmm. I know I had that darn brace this morning when I got out of the cryopod! Now where could I have put it?- dgrequeen

Kai: He was such a loved soul *nods his head* Wait...  this Stanley H Tweedle were talking about! Nevermind.- zevofb3k 

The dead do not catch a break.- stormsweeper 

Kai: Some people see stars when they jump off planets,...I see the scifi logo!!- Stanelle

Kai: I would say that I have heartburn,.. but I don't have a stomach!!- Stanelle

Kai: *sigh* I wish I was dead...ah crap- Griever 

In the SciFi Channel logo-spitting contest, Kai has no equal...- elfie

Note to self: Never, NEVER take Dulcolax before shooting a scene.......- GreenLight

Don't hurt yourself man.- Hope 

EMMM Tacos!- zevofb3k 

Kai: That dang brace...slipped...when I was in the cryopod!! Must have gone down my sleeve!! They never told us what to do when a brace got into that region of my anatomy! Ooooch!- Stanelle

I knew I shouldn't have bet on the Cleveland Browns. Now I'll have to hit the ATM again...- ottokell



  Look pal, the dead don't drink. So what makes you think the dead should buy the next round? - theFrey

An orange juice for me, a treble vodka and cider for the little lady and what will you have old man ? - Sue

Kai thinks: Isn't it always the way. You take a hot date for a quieet drink in a ccountry pub and some old git comes up to you talking about vampires. 'Sod off gramps.' - Sue

Kai talking to old man: You said, after he finishes the shooter, I put this fly-paper on his head?  Old Man laughing to himself: Thats right son! - lana evitneter

All right old man, I'll buy your treasure map for two drinks, no more. And if I don't find any buried treasure, I'll be back...- Thodin

Kai: That's an Indecent Proposal, Old Man! One Million dollars to sleep with my girlfriend!!! But I know someone who might. Where's Stanley???- NB1

Whaddaya mean, you don't know how to mix a Zombie? What kind of a bartender ARE you?!?- Sassy Assassin 

No, really, this is legal currency on every other planet in the galaxy!- Sassy Assassin 

Have you seen John Conner?- P_T_Bando 

Kai: Have you seen this man? His name is Stanley H. Tweedle and he's just a poor defenseless git who needs his mommy. . .anyone? . . . no?. . . okay a round of drinks for everyone on me. Lets celebrate! What's your poison old man?- Xev_Clusterlizard_loveslave 

Kai: No, I am NOT interested in a copy of the WatchTower!! Beat it, pops!- dgrequeen

Kai:This is the bathroom??!!- lolo 

As Xev sits besides Kai & struggling to get on the stool, Kai looks at the man beside him & the bartender & says, `You say anything or do anything to upset me, I'll strike you down with my brace, hang you up by your toes & beat you up by the head & shoulders, then I'll do what assassins to best. Come on Xev, let's go.'- Jhevz 

Kai: the dead do not do autographs- Griever 

Kai: There is no way you can beat me in a stare out old man, I've been in training for over 6,000 years...wait maybe you have too...- Griever 

Keep starin at my woman, old man, and my brace'll give you the prostate exam of a lifetime.......- GreenLight 

Do you have the Play Boy issue with this bunny in it?- hope 

I got a fax! I'm to meet Vlad at Cryptic Mausoleum Type Area in 0500 hours! What could it mean?- Lance 

The dead are not satisfied with the quality of this photo printer. Can I get a refund without a receipt?- ottokell



Ummm, Xev. That big guy who insulted you.... what did he look like and *exactly* how big was he? - theFrey

Xev: Kai lets go to bed.  Kai: Quiet Xev, sports center just started! - lana evitneter

Xev:  Kai I think we should talk about....us.  Kai thinks: oh boy here we go... the waterworks...Beam me up Scottie pleeeze - sue

Kai: Lord, if you're up there, can't ya just make me *alive* in a certain area for about twenty minutes???   Xev: Amen to that!! - NB1

Xev, get your hand out of there...please, we're in a public place...Xev? - Sassy Assassin

So who is this Dennis Rodman fellow, and why does he have stranger hair than me? - Sassy Assassin

OOOOH!! Xev look, Star Trek is on. - P_T_Bando

Kai: The tab is HOW MUCH?? Xev, exactly how much HAVE you had to drink? - dgrequeen

Kai: *Looks at Xev, then to Stan* Finally! I see forelocks are back in style!- elfie 

......and after all those jello shots.....I woke up cradled in Stan's arms.... *sigh* I know how much it meant for you to be the first, and all I can say is I'm sorry Xev, and it will never happen again....I promise.....- Really...now, will you stop crying?- GreenLight

Did their dog just die?- Hope 

Kai: No no no Xev to properly apply mascara you have to look up like this. . . Xev: Oh, I'll never get it right.- Xev_Clusterlizard_loveslave 

Kai sings: Yo way yo .. Home va- ra-   Xev: Kai!     Kai: What is it?   Xev: Don't look now...but that guy's hand is checking you out.- Lance

Kai: Don't worry Xev everything will be fine... (looks up) ah. crap. Now we're screwed.- Griever- - 

Kai singing off key: Yo-oh-ay-oh...my heart is so cold, life is mold, Oh Poor Brunnen Me! Yo-ay-oh, you just don't know, feelin' so low, Oh Poor Brunnen Me!   Xev: God, I never should have mixed the booze in with his Protoblood. He gets so maudlin when he's drunk...- ottokell 



Xev is overcome with joy! Adequate lighting in this episode... at last! - theFrey

Xev: Oh, Kai, I missed you so much!!!!  Kai: Really? I've only been gone for two minutes!- NB1

Kai thinking: Hey a spider ring!- leslie

Kai reluctantly realizes that he should have bought her a blow-up Ricky Martin doll years ago.- Sassy Assassin

Um, Xev, do you smell hair burning?- Sassy Assassin 

Whoah! Whoah! Watch the hair!- P_T_Bando

Kai: Yes Xev I. . I. . I. . .*sniff* . . . .oooo Herbal Essence. - Xev_Clusterlizard_loveslave 

Kai: Xev, what are you doing? Hey! Will you quit trying to tie a blue ribbon on the end of my plait!- breathe (LexxObsessive)

Michael: Uh... Xenia... can't... breathe....- dgrequeen

Xev: Oh Kai it's nice to see you again.  Kai: It's ok now, Xev, you're safe with me. - Jhevz

 Kai:  Hey watch the outfit lady!- Griever 

MM: uh Xenia you're too attached to your role- darkcrow 

.......Oh, Kai......is that a control rod out of place, or are you just glad to see me?- GreenLight 

......YES, yes....I'm happy to see you Xev, and yes I love you too, Sci-Fi logo...........- GreenLight 

Kai thinking: I need to borrow Her conditioner. Her Hair is sooo shiny!- DarkZoneWitch 

Every day it is the same.  She plays this stupid hugging game.   Why can't she get it in her head.  It is no pleasure to the dead!- Lance

I understand that they were out of lotion, Xev, but that doesn't mean that Two Step Epoxy makes a good substitute, just because you liked how it smelled...- ottokell



Who are you to tell me that my hair styling techniques need work! - theFrey

Kai: You feel lucky today punk! Well do ya????- lana evitneter


There is a small insect on your nose. Don't move...- Thodin

You booked me for a droolers' convention? What the hell were you THINKING?!?- Sassy Assassin

So 'big hair' went out in the '80s....wanna make something of it, pal?- Sassy Assassin

FFFFFFFFT FFFFFFFFFFFT...  See, I told you, the dead don't whistle.- P_T_Bando

Kai: Look pal, if you call me 'Bunhead' one more time....!- breathe (LexxObsessive)

Kai: Oh yeah? You and what planet?!?- dgrequeen

ooooooooooooo FIRE BAD! - zevofb3k

Dracula:  You know the song who let the dogs out?   Kai: Yes that song is the bomb!   Together singing: Who let the dogs out woof woof woof.- zevofb3k 

Kai: Ooooo you messed with the hair, now you're going to have to pay for it mister! Kai thinking:I spend hours on my hair and then he hits it!- Xev_Clusterlizard_loveslave 

Doing his best Danzig impersonation, Kai attempts to fill in for the remake of the 'Mother' video. (sorry, that's Danzig's only expression Kai is wearing, lol)- elfie

MM: Oww hot! this chilli is hot!- darkcrow 

There ain't room in this here town for two dead men in black. I'm a-callin' you out!- aurora

Think, RETARD think!- Subbing my designer mousse with a Wal-Mart generic brand just cost you your @ss!- MakeUp! Give this turd a pink slip!- GreenLight

No. The dead have not had enough to drink.- Lance

Hey! don't make fun of the scifi logo! - LyekkaPlant

Mom said that if I kept doing this, my face would freeze this way. And she was right!- ottokell


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