'No! Stop Xev, Stop!' Kai cries as
Xev discovers the secret vulnerability of divine assassins, tickly knees! -
theFreyKai's Komic Kaptions 45
'No! Stop Xev, Stop!' Kai cries as
Xev discovers the secret vulnerability of divine assassins, tickly knees! -
theFrey
Kai: HA! Stan, you slay me dude! But if you think that joke's funny, get a load of this one! A cleric, a love slave, and His Divine Shadow walk into a bar...- streudel
A dead man has no favorite colors for a manicure. I'll just have them trimmed and filed thank you. - Ketana
Hahahahahaha...man I am drunk.- Rev. Max
........and ever since then, Brian never shoots a scene without wearing a cup.......- GreenLight
Heheh....I taste, Kahlua, Bailey's and Hershey's chocolate...Man, this is the best tasting protoblood, ever......- GreenLight
Two Beer Kai- HDS
MM: Boy never eat burritos on a date! hehhe- Zevofb3k
Kai: I can't believe it, I'm in Las Vegas, Sin City, Yaahooooo! off camera, Stan: Yes, I know; so are we.- Jhevz
STOP IT! YOU'RE KILLING ME!- Darcy
Kai just found out why the Chicken crossed the road!!- NB1
Stan: Don't get your hopes up Xev...He's not coming alive..I just brought him back from the Dentist for a root canal and they gave him laughing gas!! - NB1
this is what happens when a divine assassins protoblood goes past it's expiration date and begins to ferment.- TwilightRhapsody
No, really, Xev, pull my finger...- sassyassassin
And then, then he-he, then, then the guy says to him: 'You idiot! That's not my cat! That's a wig!' - Wordsmith
We knew the Christmas party was taking a real turn when Kai chugged a quart of Proto Nogg and started hitting on the lamp.- ottokell
Kai: You guy s *are* crazy man. . .you all are'll woohooooo sh**!- Xev_Clusterlizard_loveslave
Kai: Quit,Stan. I'm ticklish in the codpiece.- Kerri Groves
Kai:Would you just hurry up and take the picture already, Xev?! My face is gonna break if it stays this way much longer - 'The Dead do not smile', remember? - Purple Unicorn
Another season? They want to cast me for another season? You are joking, right? - Honeybunny
Get out! I've been nominated into
the poker face hall of fame?!? Cool beans! - theFrey
I've been calling the bingo numbers for this tour group not you Stan... so pay attention...O 74...I said O 74..stop interrupting me Stan! - Ketana
And you want ME to appear at MegaCon?....I'd sooner sew this wig to my scalp! - GreenLight
MM: You mean I was only second to the last to be picked for baseball! - zevofb3k
MM: Yea, and I'M the STAR of the show and always will be and don't you forget it!!!- NB1
I get a whole case of the shampoo and conditioner just for doing a commercial? What a cool deal!- TwilightRhapsody
'...and he says, our phone rates are lower, so I tell him, I can't switch long distance companies! And he says, why not? Then I say, because I don't HAVE a phone! Ha ha ha, I just kill myself!'- ottokell
Kai: I feeeeeel . . . .pretty! Oh so pretty! I feel pretty, and witty, and briiiigggght!- Xev_Clusterlizard_loveslave
Between takes on the Lexx set MM likes to read MAD magazine, and practices his best Alferd E Newman impression by pointing to himself and saying.. Who me? He wonders why no one else is as amused by this as he is? - Dee
Um, Stan, you
wanta come back up here to the party? - theFrey
Bunny: Oooo! Now's my chance! *goose*- dgrequeen
MM: It's over! Now you all can kiss my...... - HDS
MM: You know that bathroom scene? Well now I have to really do it.- zevofb3k
Oh look, a penny.- Gizmo
Bunny thinking: For being dead he shur has a nice bootom.*squeeze squeeze* MM:Ouchhhhhh BUNNY!- zevofb3k
President Priest: Kai, you've been checked for a carrot about 20 times now and you still want us to do it again....I'm beginning to worry about you, I think you are enjoying it!!!- NB1
MM: Here's one for the droolers...- Griever
Alternate ending number one: Bunny lights a match. Universe explodes, with the Moby song 'We are All Made of Stars' playing in the background. - ottokell
Ack! That last batch of protoblood was NASTY!- Darcy
Kai is ecstatic
with his purchase. The patented Handi-Kai has the tools and skills to take care of
all those maintenance chores than Stan has been bugging him to do for the Lexx,
while at the same time fixing Xev's little problems too! - theFrey
MM thinks: My my, what a package! Pod guy thinks: Why does he have that look on his face?- Dee
Pod guy thinking: I coulda sold insurance for a living, eh? But noooo! I have to put on this doofy wig and be a stand-in for Laughing Boy there. - dgrequeen
MM: ...And ladies, if you call within the next 10 minutes and use your Visa, MC, or Discover card, we'll send NOT ONLY the life-size, anatomically correct ' Deatholicious Kai ' love doll with Brunnen-G costume that changes from stylish 'Assassin Black' to 'Living Kai Color' with warm water for the ridiculously low price of $149.99, but we'll also throw in the Village People Costume Change Kit ABSOLUTELY FREE!!! The Kit comes with the Construction Worker look, as shown on our doll here, the Policeman Kai, Indian Kai, and Sailor Kai! And as if that wasn't enough, the 'Deatholicious Kai' doll's brace can be used as a can opener, coat hook, toilet snake, or a tow winch! Only through this special TV offer can you receive this amazing package delivered to your home in a handsome, one of a kind, cryopod carrying case! It makes a perfect stocking stuffer for the sex starved love slave on your Christmas shopping list!!! Next on QVC, the handy-dandy 790 fondue pot...- streudel
I thought Stan was going to be the fluffer?!?" - Rev. Max
MM: This Is my stand-in, isn't he Cute? He's coming home with me. - HDS
Uh-huh... damn union carpenters getting drunk on the job and falling asleep anywhere..... well, I showed him: super glued my extra wig to his head and his butt to the cryopod! - GreenLight
MM: Of course he looks pissed! You didn't really think it was ME in that cryopod for all that time?- sassyassassin
This is the two Kai's, but only one is Michael McManus; can you tell which one it is?.?!- Jhevz
MM: Wellll-helllll! Is that a laser gun in your pocket or are you glad to see me?????- NB1
Suddenly thousands of female Lexx fans are reconsidering their position that there could never be a replacement for Kai!!!!- NB1
'HOME IMPROVEMENT: THE FUTURE YEARS' Can you say, 'I don't think so, Kai?' - ottokell
Kai's Evil Younger Cooler brother joins the Lexx's crew and has his eyes on Xev. Kai's just happy that he has a brother and that he isn't really the last Brunnen G. Kai: You want her? Take her! Please she's been after me for years! - Xev_Clusterlizard_loveslave
Twins Kais! They got tired of Arnold Swarzanager and Danny Davito! - ZEVOFB3K
MM: Now isn't he a better Kai! ... MM gulping! - zevofb3k
Kai: He may be Kai, but I'm cutier. - Kerri
See, there's really no need to cast me for another season. This guy's perfect in the part. Perfect! I'm sure he'd do a much better job! - Honeybunny
MMM Twack does a traditional
Canadian 'Crappy Shoot Completed' dance of joy. - theFrey
I know I dropped that cigarette around here...help me find it. I just lit it up too!- Ketana
MM: No, this is the way Jimmy Hendix plays guitar. - Jane
Oooo! Paul! I hope you brought the Immodium! - dgrequeen
Man I really have to pee!!! - Rev. Max
The Peepee Dance!! - HDS
MM goes postal after finding out they want him in 5.0 to 7.0. He looks kinda cute in blue jeans - zevofdb3k
No, just hold the lighter there damn it,.....I kid you not...give me a few more seconds to squeeze out another and you'll see the blue flame I was telling you about.......- GreenLight
Okay....I'm confused again....I put my right foot out and then back in?- Menolie
As if the lousy wig, homo robot and #@%# carrots weren't bad enough, now they've gone and painted my legs blue! - - sassyassassin
Another legendary Kai stance...- Griever
As the rain dance came to an end, Michael had a sudden uneasy premonition they were all about to learn the origin of the expression 'raining pitchforks and hammer handles'- Wordsmith
In his teen years, Kai often performed the 'Wedgie Dance' at impromptu roadside concerts, in the hopes of gathering enough spare change to have his older brother get some beers for him at the Brunnen Package Store...- ottokell
Kai was quickly disqualified for the title of 'Calvin Klein Male Model of the Year'.- ottokell
Xev attacked me again- Queen Vlad
PD and LG finally make good on their threat to dump MM off on a deserted road in Deliverance, Alabama for his incessant whining about Brian Downey getting top billing in the opening credits. Michael prepares to do his best RoadRunner imitation as he hears the words that make his blood run colder than an assassin's power rods in a cast-iron codpiece. ' Stop the truck, Boy! That thar long haired sissy boy looks like he's a-needin' a ride. Gee, Paw, he sure do have purty lips!- streudel
Paul off camera: Michael, Man, don't throw a hissy fit!! I don't know who lost the other half of your costume, we'll just film you from the waist up, Dude!!!!- NB1
MM does the 'I want to be more than this character' dance for the agent gods in vain who laugh and laugh, KAI, KAI FOREVER! - Vextraxev