Kai's Komic Kaptions 50


Kai is just not sure if he is a 'Modern Colonial' kinda dead guy.  - theFrey

Kai reading: Three bedroom, two bath, master bath with walk jetted in tub with massager attachment (for the weary love slave), large basement, two car garage, mother in law suit, fully equipped kitchen with all the extras, nice neighborhood, free lifetime NRA membership, and life time membership to love dolls of the month club (for the sex starved security guard class 4 who never gets any). Cryopod not included. Damn, can't a dead man catch a break. -Toad Lady

Kai couldn't understand why the other children would never let him join in their hopscotch games. - Nursewhen

Kai: Letís play I kill you in the name of His Shadow! Why are you running away? - Logan

Kai:  (Reading sign)  What does it mean, "Curb Your Assassin?" - SassyAssassin

What's a matter? You act like you've never seen anyone sleep in a freezer before... sheeesh. - theFrey

Kai-in-a-boxÖ /Check this outÖ You wind this thing up, and boing, a Divine Assassin pops out!' - Logan

The dead do love their suntan machines. - Logan

I said freeze, suckah! Oh, erm, I see you're already frozen. - Logan

Kai: The dead do not care if the light stays on when you close the door. - Toad Lady

Kai: Yeah, so, what if I AM standing in the mint chocolate ice cream? Wanna make something of it? - Sassy Assassin

The dead, do not make room for three - Lois_Lane

No. There are no more freezie pops. But I have some chocolate ripple and two orange sorbet bars. - KarubaLuna

The dead do not chill. - FFX

 Kai-sickle, anyone ? -  ilyekkakai

What's the matter? All I wanted to do was keep my meat stiff  - Dee

Kai: There is a party in my freezer , but you're not invited.. - ilyekkakai

Man when I said chill out I meant....Oh never mind....-  Quosh

Teens: Whoa, what does it feel like man?    Kai: The dead do not feel, but strangely I am am bit chilled -  kog


Michael refuses to be distracted by the goodie basket that Paul has sent... He wants a closer look at the receiving receipt that needs signed. - theFrey

Xev:  Hey!  You said that I could be Little Red Riding Hood! -Sassy Assassin

The dead do not understand the term 'C.O.D'.- LexxLurker

Look Xev.. all the big thick long sausages you could ever want! - Dee

Stan, unfamiliar with Earthly cuisine, mistakes a sausage for a Lexx-like protein dispensing organ... - Logan

Xev: I'm hungry, Stan.  Stan: Well I keep on stroking it, but nothing comes out. Kai, you have a go.   Kai: The dead do not squeeze and please. - Logan

*..what each is thinking..*    Kai: ..hmm..I hope there is proto blood in there somewhere. The dead does not put his john hancock for nothing..    Xev:.. hmm..some of these longer pieces look familiar..    Stan: ..I hope those longer pieces are not what I think they are..    Realtor Lady: ..just take the friggin basket and lemme go already.. - ilyekkakai

Itís a food hamper from Pa Golean......aawww ainít that nice of him - Quosh


Screw the 'dead do nots', come hither baby!! - theFrey

The dead do not "Work it baby." - Meeeeeeeeeeeeee   

Heheheh....I told you I could drink 'em all under the table. The Dead do not lose chug-a-lug contests. - Streudel

Kai singing: I'm to sexy for my brace, to sexy for my brace.... - Toad Lady 

Kai: hmm? drunk? I'm sooooooooo not drunk man! I'm just catching the rays see?! - Griever 

Knowing the brace is out of commission, Kai attempts to muster up A POUT!! - PeridotEyes

Look, I already told you where I got my brace stuck. Now stop laughing, and get over here and help me! - Sassy Assassin:: Kai looks into the camera as he poses for the upcoming 2005 Hot Assassins of The Dark Zone calendar ::

Photographer: Com'on Kai, work it baby! Show us that hot pout.. Your feeling oh so sexy after a few fresh kills via brace.    Kai: The dead do not work it baby.  The dead do not feel sexy.    Photographer: Whatever you say love.. Just make 'em drool for ya    Kai: The dead.... - Dee

Awww ...do I have to come in.. now?!? Me and my lil friends were'nt done playing yet...*pouts* - ilyekkakai

Hmm, I thought that only kittens died when I did that. - PinheadI 

Must stop using my brace to cut the grass, I keep killing all my neighbors. - Quosh

The dead do stop and smell the pansies. - iStan:

I really shouldn't have eaten those bean burritos.
- iStan

Waking up on a stranger's front lawn... always the sign of a BIG night out... _ Dennis Moore

*Guy passes out on the lawn behind Kai*   Kai: Sorry. The dead do not process food to well. - Dennis Moore

Kai in grumpy old man voice: I told you dadburned kids ta git off'n my lawn or there'd be trouble! - Strudel

The dead should not have smoked that bong  - Kog


Xev takes this opportunity to cop a quick feel on the dead ones hiney- theFrey

Stan and Xev try a few local traditions after viewing the film "Deliverance - Lexx Lurker

The Deadman still has the best booty in the Two Universes! - PeridotEyes

Xev practices for her new job as a Dominatrix, but it's apparent that she needs a little work. - Sassy Assassin

Xev:  Dude!  No!  Don't puke in here, it's my Dad's car!! - ottokell

Kai you can decompose all you want in the back seat but we have to leave now. - Lois_Lane

Stan: Well, what did you expect, Kai? With a 'do like that, of course it's going to get caught in the seatbelt. - iStan

Nooooo! Don't vomit in the car! - Dennis MooreStan: C'mon Kai, even the Lexx is cheaper to drive than a 72 Cadillac. At $2.10/gallon, we have to sacrifice some head room for fuel economy. What about that 87 Dodge Shadow the salesperson showed us before you killed him? - Streduel

Xev: Kai, I know it's customary on this planet for a person of your age to retire, buy a Cadillac, and move to Florida, but we still need you. Now put your teeth back in, pull your pants down from around your ears, and drop the Driving Miss Daisy routine....-

Xev: Oh NO you don't! - I wanna drive!! - XS4Xevr

Stan: Kai I know you had one to many drinks but come on work with me here - Kog

Kai: OK I know there is a sale on at the Quick E Mart but there is no need to shove.- Quosh

After another late night binder, Xenia and Brian pick Michael off the lawn. Brian: Damn Michael, cant you make it through one episode with out being hung over.   Xenia: If he pukes in my car again, I'm sending him the cleaning bill and were using your car next time. - Toad Lady

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Last edited 07/23/2005