Kai's Komic Kaptions 8

"Tell me the truth, Kai: do you think it's the red jumpsuit that turns women off?" - StormBorn 

"Stan: A space cadet headstrong and plucky, went cruising hoping he would get lucky. A barmaid he... Kai:(interrupting) Stan, the dead do NOT get Limericks." - BC

"Stan: Um....Kai?   Kai: What is it, Stanely?   Stan: I KNOW we're not supposed to wake you unless there's an emergency, but...   Kai: WHAT, Stan?   Stan: heh heh, the toilet seems to be on the fritz, again, and your brace snakes it out SO well...."  - AristaStarfyr

"Stan: Let's go on Earth and go Bar Hopping!" - emma_peel

"Stan: No Kai, your hair style STILL hasn't changed. Sorry, big guy." - Logan55

"Stan, I just got to the freezing point, now what?" -  PeridotEyes

"Well, it's like this, Micheal. This wearing the costume everywhere and sleeping on the set....well, it's creeping everyone out." - canuk

"Stan: Sorry big guy...I uh...forgot that I wiped down the cryochamber with a supersolvent.. I didn't know you'd get stuck to the glass like that...can I get you anything?  Kai: Go to hell..." - mayaxiong

"*Stan mumbling*: Uh, Kai...I don't know how to say this... *BLURTING OUT*: I traded your cryopod for a visit to Celes Pleasure Cruiser so you're just gonna have to find someplace else to sleep!" - Aurora

"Kai:  Stan, *I'm* the Daphne and *you're* the Velma. That's just how it works. I'm sorry." - Sarcasmagoria

"Stan (holding something proto-gooey): Er...is this yours?" - primanw

"Too bad, Kai. It's the only teddy bear on the Lexx and it's my turn to sleep with it!" - StormBorn

"No no no! How many times am I going to have to explain this to you? The birds and the bees....."  - Weyrldy

"Ya see, I met this girl, and, well... I REALLY need to borrow the pod, Kai!" - dgrequeen

"First Xev, then 790...now I think I'm falling for you too Kai." - StormBorn

"Stan closes his eyes in pain, no longer able to stand gazing at the perfection that is Kai." - theFrey"

Stan falls asleep during one of Kai's very long the dead do not speechs." - emma_peel

"Codpiece. Equipment. Yeah. Hoo-boy." - StormBorn

"Kai...about your little wrist thingie...well, I, borrowed it, and, well...*sigh* I, uh, hmm...lost it..." - KardTrick

"Stan: Good lord, Kai... I thought you said that thing didn't function anymore!" - Alchemiste

"Stan (Hangs head in shame): Sorry Dad I didn't mean to break it." - Gitt

"Uh...thanks buddy, I'm very flattered...but I was saving this dance for someone else..." - mayaxiong

"Stan: Ok, my eyes are closed. Let me have it. Kai (thinking): Not in your wildest dreams, Stanley!" - primanw

"Stan: Gee Kai, I don't care if your hands are cold. God, that feels really good!!!" - Max Payne

"Dammit, Michael. You just got spittle in my eye! Make-up!" -  Lyekka

"OW! Ohhh, ow! Not there! NOT THERE!!" - dgrequeen

"Jeeze, Kai, I know you're dead and all, but haven't you ever heard of breath mints?" - Astartae


"That potty-mouth poetry of yours really turns me off, you know?" - StormBorn

"Oh 790, love at last now that I found you. Ohhhhh!" - emma_peel

"Bad robot! Next time use the paper!" - PeridotEyes

"I do not think putting my brace in your neck stem is a good idea, 790." - StormBorn

"Great, no one's found my stash yet...brilliant of me to hide it here, no one would think of looking inside 790, six thousand years is a long time to go without ciggies" - mayaxiong

"With a few minor alterations,you will be the darling of the small appliance world,790 THE TALKING TOASTER !!" - canuk

"Stop drooling and clean 790! Use the vacuum attachment and be quick about it before Xev comes in and demands to do it, herself!" - primanw

"Man! I shouldn't have tried Lexx's goo after all! I really need to spit this out, but where? Oh, wait... maybe in here, who's gonna know?" - dgrequeen

"Dammit, don't we get the SciFi Channel on this thing?!!!" - Aurora

"C'mon, 790. You will only have to be a jack-o-lantern for a few hours. Now tell me where you hid the fun size snickers" - Max Payne

"Xev: You do know how to whistle, Stan? Just put your lips together and blow.  Kai:(to self) Well, the dead DO whistle..." - BlackCloud

"Xev: What do you mean you can't pilot the ship, Stan? You just got the Key back!   Stan: Yeah, well, while YOU were playing with it, I kinda sprained my hand.  Xev: Sprained?!   *Kai looks on, grateful that the dead do not get sprained hands. Xev was paying TOO much interest in that one!*"  - AristaStarfyr"

 "See, Stanley? Hairy palms. We warned you!" - Kali

"Xev:  Well Stan, you did tell me to spit in one hand and wish in the other.  Kai: Xev, I don't think Stan wanted you to use *his* hand." - theFrey

"This is the church, here's the steeple, open it ...wait I need to start over again!" - emma_peel

"Stan finally beats Xev in a game of 'Rock, Paper, Scissors'." -  Logan55

"Kai and his 'Damn Poofy Hair', Xev and her 'Damn Poofy Lips' and Stan and his 'Damn Poofy Ego' " - Zevchan

"Stan, I'm getting so tired of Kai. I mean, like, he's so DEAD! And that hair, does he really think that's cool? Like.....He's right behind me, isn't he?" - canuk

"Xenia:  Brian, I swear, you have to stop putting your hands on my ass..!   Brian: Uh... Xenia..my hand's right here..." - mayaxiong

"Xev: So you expect me to believe - the size of a guy's hand from here to here, is always the same size as his...uh-?" - Aurora

"Xev: I *know* where that hand has been Stanley!  Stan: I did *not* fondle the frozen naughty bits, Xev! I don't care *what* he tells you!" - primanw

"Xev: I TOLD you not to put your hand there! That'll teach you!" - dgrequeen

"Stan: Please Xev, stop it!!   Xev:I only want to see why you keep sniffing your fingers when nobody is looking!" - Max Payne

"I'm not sure I comprehend this Stan.  Why would some lunatic in the States be making teny-tiny little Klones of me?" - theFrey

"The famous look of a deer about to be hit by a truck." - emma_peel 

"What now, Stan? You've already woken me up asking for a glass of water, a snack, and to tuck you in.  I am *not* reading you a bedtime story, so just leave me alone. The dead do not appreciate being thawed out every five minutes." - rave

"Ok, Xev, I can keep a SMALL container of ice cream in the cryochamber." - canuk

"You did WHAT to me when I was asleep??" - Alchemiste

"What do you mean the series wasn't really renewed..? You mean we've been dressing up in these outfits and hanging around here for weeks and we're not even getting paid? Dammit Paul!" - mayaxiong

"Tribble on my head? What are you talking about??" - Max Payne

"You don't want me to have sex with you, or kill intruders, or save the universe from some ancient evil....can I go back to sleep then?" - primanw

"Ugh, Xev - I could see you through the cryodoor! Could you at least have a little respect for the dead?!" - Aurora

"Damn! Did I forget to tell wardrobe not to put starch in the silk undies?" - dgrequeen

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